AND THE NEWS IS.......

I PASSED! Today I went to Neuro-Rehab for my driving assessment with the Occupational Therapist. The assessment was challenging and six weeks ago I would have failed so I'm thankful that it did not happen until today even though the wait was long. The assessment was two hours long. She tested my eye and hand coordination, muscular strength, my visual perception, visual closure, reaction time, visual fields, my memory, and of course I had to drive a simulated car in all sorts of circumstances. Zachary would have been in pure heaven! However, it was another humbling moment in my recovery and I realized that even though my Neurologist can be ultra-conservative he truly has been closely monitoring my care and wants me to return to my best health. I have been blessed to have him as one of my provider's. At the end of the assessment, my OT reported that I passed and barely with the visual fields. I walked out of Neuro-Rehab and my Speech Therapist, my Neurologist, the ICU team who cared for me, and my family were out there clapping for me. There were many tears and hugs. This was the first major step in my recovery that has been completed. I still have a couple of more steps, but I have some of my freedom back. In a few weeks, I have to see a Neuro-Psychologist for further assessment, but this will only help me if and when I go back to my career. This summer I have to take a University course for my teaching cert. so the assessment will provide me with my needed accommodations. And yes I still can only ride the bike at the gym and only escorted of course! However, I can drive myself to the gym!
Kirk captured some photos One is of the kiddos and I by The Critical Care Unit symbolizing how far I have come since August 31st. A special thank you to all in Neuro Rehab!

Our Cinderella whose almost 4!!!!

I thought I would include a couple of photos of the two Grandpa's. Kirk and I treasure these photos this year.

OUR SUPERMAN

Today Zachary's teacher sent us this e-mail. Followed by a really excited little boy when he came home from school! He's been working really hard and we are excited for him. Congratulations Z-Man!!!!!

"Hi Heidi and Kirk,I just wanted to let you know that Zachary has met his AR goal for this quarter. The quarter actually ends in May and he only needed to be at 40% at this point. He is actually at 145% of the goal! Wow! He has done wonderful. Because he is still having trouble with fluency, I don’t want to raise his level up too much. He was at 0.5-1.5, I’m now raising him to 1.9 which is an end of 1st grade level. I’m hoping this will not be too much of a stretch and will boost his motivation and self- esteem enough to keep him reading. He is reading these tests by himself and passing, so his comprehension is coming right along. I’m very proud of how hard Zachary is working." Kasey

I'm Blessed

I woke up this morning and checked out facebook. I found this that my friend wrote while she was on a trip.

"In San Diego out for a run and ended up in the middle of a Walk for Thought for ...The Brain Damage Association......people of all ages. Thinking of you my friend and shedding some tears as I watch a young couple the same age as you and Kirk, he is holding her as she struggles to learn to walk again. I love you and am grateful for your recovery. Your such a strong soul and an inspiration to others."By: Michelle Jung

My reply to my dear friend is this thanks for helping me become more aware of my blessings in my life since the brain bleed. The other day I complained to my PT about my Neurologist and all of his restrictions that he still has me placed on me. She told me, "Heidi daily a Neurologist has to share with a patient that their life will be cut short, they will not be able to walk again, and many other physical ailments. However, your our miracle patient. Therefore, my dear we want to return you to optiumn health." I'm blessed to have a wonderful medical team! I'm also blessed to have an awesome marriage and wonderful kiddos. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I was unable to walk Kirk would wrap that gait belt around me and hold me up. I also know that you my friend, and many of my other friends would remain by my side even if things would have been worse because your my Sisters and that is what Sisters do for each other. Thank You for the encouraging words I needed to that today!

The Refiner's Fire

It seems like my health issues continue to go on, but my attitude is still trying to remain up. Last Friday, I felt this horrible pain on my stomach and I looked and I had an awful sore. I immediately called my doctor and she instructed me to go to the ER. Let me tell you that was one of my fastest trips to the ER! I got there and since I'm recovering from a brain bleed I got to be seen shortly. One of the benefits of a brain bleed. It turned out to be a staph infection and I'm now on a lot of antibiotics, which are making my stomach not feel so well. I also followed up with my doctor yesterday and we will more than likely switch antibiotics on Thursday. Yippee is what I have to say to about it all! I told my doctor that I might as well have a weekly walk in appointment because I have been a frequent visitor.

Last night I was writing and reading in my journal and I found a passage that I had just written. I read it again it was something I needed to review again. I wrote this past six months have been tough. We do not know what kinds of tragedies that we will face in life, and tragedy happens to good people, who are living the best way that they can. However, one of our purpose's of this mortal journey is to become refined. I have been learning to walk through my fires and relying upon the Lord to help me. The recovery of the brain bleed has been rough, losing my Grandpa has been heart breaking, and now infection. However, Marion D. Hanks wrote, " There is no chance, no fate, no destiny, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." Determination and resilience is what I have. I either can wallow in it all or I can stand up and let it all refine me. I'm stiil excited about the future! I still believe that this is going to be an awesome year for our family! I'm grateful for my trials and I look at how much I have grown from this, and the wealth of wisdom it has provided me.

Doctor Update

I saw my Internal Med doctor yesterday and she decreased the dose of my beta blocker; however, today I have experienced some bad headaches so I think we may have to try some other beta blocker. The headaches have been one of the worst side-effects of the bleed; however, I'm thankful that I'm alive and doing well. The other day my Speech Therapist invited me to speak at the hospital's Stroke Club group about my stroke and my recovery process. I told her that I'm not sure if I want to do this because I would have to speak on my Birthday in front of several stroke survivors, doctors, therapists, and all of their families. The other thing is it is very challenging for me to verbalize my story because it is still painful for me. I spoke to my Internal Med doc about it yesterday and she said that she would be there to support me and I know my husband and many of my friends would attend but I just do not know if I'm ready or if I'll ever be ready? I think I need some time to think before I respond to this request. However, on an exciting note I go in for my Driver's Eval in three weeks. The count down is on. I'm already thinking and planning on where I'll drive the car to once I get my license back.

Check out my Bunny Ears!

We were on our way out the other day and Isabella insisted on wearing her favorite bunny ears! You can tell she was super happy!

News from Neuro-Rehab

Today I was in Speech Therapy and I kicked butt with my cognitive exercises! I could not believe how quickly I could process the information! I'm finally starting to feel my abilities gradually returning to me, and in fact, I feel stronger and smarter prior to the brain bleed. A couple of weeks ago my friend came over to cut my hair and we were talking and she told me that she has seen improvement in my cognitive skills and my ability to balance myself compared to January. Inspite of all of the grief and sorrow the past month my body continued to heal. On a spiritual side of things when my Grandpa was dying I was talking to my Aunt Chris, and she asked me if I wanted her to say anything to my Grandpa for me? I told her to please let him know, that "I loved him and inspite of what was going on that I would go to Speech and my other therapies and continue to progress." It is amazing that since February 14th many improvements have happened. I cannot help but not think that my Grandpa is still right here for me cheering me on." I see internal med later this week in regards to my low heart rate I'll update later.

"There You'll Be" by Faith Hill

I love this song playing on the blog because it speaks the feelings that I have for my Grandpa and Grandma Fry. It now has been three weeks since I received the call that my Grandfather would soon return home. Febuary 13th and 14th were rough days and my Grandfather is still fresh in my heart. There has not been a day that has gone by that I have not thought of him and everything that he has done for me. Oh, Grandpa how I wish I could have talked to you and hugged you one last time, but I may not have physically been there to hold your hand as you passed, but I know for sure that my spirit was there when you left to return home. I know that you are in peace and enjoying many happy reunions. You will always be a part of my heart and I'll carry you throughout my life. I dearly love and miss you! Thanks for always being right there for me.

"When I grow up Mom I'm going to be You." Words by Isabella

Holy Moly! Our kids consistently are watching us and whether we are setting either a positive or negative example for them. When those words slipped out of Isabella's mouth I questioned myself and wondered what example am I setting daily for my daughter? As many of you know I love reading articles from Erin Stewart and I came across a quote in a article written by her and the quote is from Ezra Taft Benson it reads, “take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going — when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are 6 or 16.” I thought even though it may sound simple how important it is for mothers to be there for their children. I'm sure some day Zachary and Isabella are going to become annoyed with me , but I feel a sense of responsibility to love, support, encourage, and be there for them. I truly need to know who my children are so I can be the best example for them. What an incredible gift I have been given!

Promises of Spring

I'm so excited that March is here! February was a long and difficult month for our family, but March is here and is promising to bring some much needed happiness and excitement!

Kirk: He was accepted into The National Honor Society and we are very pleased and happy about this situation. Even Though he is graduated, his Graduation ceremony is in May at the ShoWare Center. He is very excited about the future.

Heidi: I go in for my Driver's Eval. March 30th with the OT at the Neuro-Rehab. We will see how that turns out, but it is a step in the right direction. My EKG came back abnormal the other day, but my doctors are working on adjusting and possibly switching medications. My heart rate is too low, which is caused by my the beta blockers, but I'm confident that this problem will get corrected. I now know why I have been cold and super tired.

Zachary: He's doing well in school. His teacher has been gone a lot because she has been dealing with a family emergency. However, we were just introduced to one of Zachary's doctor's friends who volunteers at Zachary's school. She has volunteered to work with Zachary once a week, which will be awesome for him since I have been unable to volunteer at the school.

Isabella: She's getting ready to take ballet and has enjoyed being at home with me and our friends. She's going to be four in April. Time flies by! She is super excited for her Birthday and she calls herself "Princess Isabella" right now. She loves Cinderella!

Right Now Life is a Bed of Roses

We would like to extend a thank you to all of you for your support and love during the month of Febuary. With the passing of two Grandfathers',and my recovery process it was a hard month, but we pulled through it. I'm so grateful that Spring is around the corner and winter is almost concluded.

Always Loved Never Forgotten

What a beatiful day it was celebrating the life of our Father, Grandfather, and Great Grandfather. Our small family was unable to attend his service, which was very difficult for me; however, today I found a DVD that I created back in the summer of 2009. It was so wonderful to see and hear my Grandfather. Today I felt my Grandfather with me, and I knew he understood why I could not be in Idaho. A special thank you to everyone back home, who made me feel so apart of things. I have enjoyed talking to you, and viewing all of the photos that you have posted. Enjoy the memories I even posted photos of you all today. You all look beatiful. Thank you Grandpa for everything I love you and I'll see you soon....

My Heart Broke

Valentine's Day my Grandfather passed away and my heart broke. His death was unexpected and happened within two weeks of losing another special Grandpa. I miss my Grandpa and have been taking it hour by hour. I have been finding comfort in believeing that Kirk's Grandpa helped him cross over. Both of our Granfather's meant a lot to each of us and will be terribly missed, but I know they're in a peaceful and happy place. I will not be able to attend my Grandfather's service which is going to be hard, but tonight I wrote a segment for one of the family member's to share about what my Grandfather taught me.

During my Grandfather’s life I learned several lessons; however, the one lesson that I learned from him was to be dedicated and persistent. I recall as a young child, my Grandfather going out to work out at the INEL. He called it the dessert. I remember that he did not miss many days of work, and I can also recall walking down to his bus stop and anxiously waiting for him to arrive and then I would walk home with him. I can also recall him taking care of his yard. He had a garden that he kept well maintained and in fact he would not allow any of us to dig up the carrots. However, if we were careful we were allowed to pick the green beans and then we would take them over to the red picnic table and snap them. Oh how I loved the taste of Grandpa’s green beans. I also recall when I was first married I had undergone eye surgery, and while everyone was at work and school I spent time at my Grandparents. I remember that year was a Presidential year and Grandpa would watch all of the debates. He was truly dedicated to his political beliefs and I do not think he missed many debates.

Now that I have my own family I can see how the two above values influenced my personal life. I can recall Grandpa sharing some of his Educational hardships with me, and after listening to his stories I had a desire to go school and earn my college degree, which he was able to attend my Graduation. Even though Grandpa did not hold a college degree I knew that he valued education. Grandpa always attended and supported many of my triumphs in life. He was also was there for many of my trials, and even if he could not physically be present I always knew that he cared about me. This was illustrated to me recently when I suffered a brain bleed in Seattle, Washington. When this occurred, I knew that it was not possible for Grandpa to come up and see me, and it was not possible for me to go to Idaho. This was and is still challenging for me; however I was told by my mother that Grandpa would always ask how I was doing? That was enough for me because I knew that he cared and thought about me often, and desired for me to get better. Grandpa’s desire is happening and I’m getting better week by week. I love my Grandpa and I’ll miss him. However, I know that he lives on in my Grandma, and that some day we will all be reunited together again.

In Memory of Alfred Edward Fry

In Memory of Alfred Edward Fry

DOCTOR'S UPDATE

THIS PREVIOUS MONDAY I SAW MY NEUROLOGIST SO HERE IS THE UPDATE.

1. I'M ABLE TO LIFT UP TO 30 POUNDS NOW.

2. PT WILL NOW FOCUS ON BUILDING UP STRENGTH AND ENDURANCE. WHILE STILL CHECKING MY BALANCE.

3. SWALLOWING THERAPY WILL CONTINUE.

4. MEMORY AND COGNITIVE THERAPY WILL ALSO CONTINUE. I'M GETTING BETTER WITH DEDUCTIVE REASONING AND NOW WE ARE WORKING ON THE EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS OF THE BRAIN. IT WAS INTERESTING LAST NIGHT I ATTENDED MY FIRST SCHOOL FUNCTION WITH ZACHARY AND A PARENT, WHO I KNOW, CAME UP TO ME AND ASKED ME WHERE I HAVE BEEN/ I TOLD HER I WAS RECOVERING FROM A BRAIN BLEED. SHE'S A SPEECH THERAPIST AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WONDERED BECAUSE MY SPEECH RATE WAS SLOWER AND IT SEEMED TO TAKE ME A BIT LONGER TO PROCESS INFORMATION. KIRK THOUGHT THAT THIS INFORMATION MIGHT UPSET me BUT IT DID NOT. I WAS THANKFUL THAT SOMEONE WAS HONEST WITH ME AND AT THE SAME TIME I WAS ABLE TO SAY THAT IT WILL EVENTUALLY IMPROVE.

5. IN MARCH THE OT AND PT WILL WORK WITH ME ON DRIVING AND I HOPE TO BE DRIVING ALONE BY THE SUMMER. I'M TRYING TO BE REALISTIC, BUT IT IS HARD.

6. I'LL HAVE AN EKG DONE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE BETA BLOCKERS ARE WORKING WELL.

7. MY FOCUS AND VISION ARE NOW RECOVERED, WHICH FEELS GREAT.

8. STILL CANNOT GO TO THE GYM BY MYSELF. HOWEVER, I CAN BIKE AND WALK AS LONG AS SOMEONE IS WITH ME. I CANNOT WAIT TO HAVE MY ALONE TIME AGAIN.

The bleed has really changed my life for both the good and the bad. I no longer take my life for grant it. I know I say that a lot but when you go through a life and death experience you really feel this. On the flip side, it sucks to go through a long recovery process and life is different for me right now and I think life will be different for me moving foreward. I now know that I will need to make accomdations for myself, such as writing almost everything down, and I'm becoming quite the skilled note taker. It also takes me longer to process conversations and reply back to the speaker, but this I can live with.

THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL OF THE SUPPORT, WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT, PRAYERS, AND LOVE.

WILL UPDATE AGAIN IN ANOTHER MONTH.

STRUK BY CUPID

THIS IS A PHOTO OF ZACHARY AND A LITTLE GIRL FROM HIS CLASS AT SCHOOL. HE SAYS THAT HE IS GOING TO MARRY THIS GIRL. THIS LITTLE GIRL'S MOM THINKS THAT ZACHARY IS SO ADORABLE. WE BOTH AGREED THAT THEY BOTH HAVE GOOD TASTE. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.

The magic of the Disney Store

BOTH ZACHARY AND ISABELLA LOVE GOING TO THE DISNEY STORE. ZACHARY LOVES CHECKING OUT THE CAR STUFF AND ISABELLA LOVES LOOKING AT THE PRINCESS THINGS. SHE IS A TRUE GIRL AND SHE ALSO HAS EXPENSIVE TASTE.

In Memory of Grandpa Walker We love and miss you already

Raymond Claud Walker Obituary: View Raymond Walker's Obituary by Post Register


What a bitter-sweet day January 30th was for our small family. On that day, we found out that my vision had tremendously improved while during the doctor's appointment we received a call that Grandpa Walker passed away. I must say that the passing of Grandpa Walker made that day feel empty and sad for our family. Because of my health, we knew that I would be unable to travel to the funeral so with the help of many friends and family members we were able to fly Kirk out to Idaho for his Grandpa's service while the kids and I stayed back in Seattle with my friend Laura. On the day and time of the funeral my friend Laura and I stopped what we were doing and paused while I thought about all of the memories that our small family had created with Grandpa Walker. It truly was a beautiful experience. While back in Idaho, Kirk and his cousin Jennifer were sharing his life's sketch. Once the family reached the graveside right below the cemetery a bull auction was going on and everyone was able to reflect about the times that Grandpa Walker shared stories about cow sales and bull auctions. My understanding was that it was truly a remarkable experience for the entire family. One thing I know is that as a Granddaughter-in-law I had grown to love this man as one of my own Grandfather's. He was one of the most giving people I have ever met and I'm so happy that Kirk was able to grow-up by this man because I believe he helped mold Kirk into what he is today.

What we did back in Seattle

After Kirk's Grandpa passed away, The kids and I remained in Seattle and stayed with my friend Laura. Lets say we had exciting times. My friend Laura has five kids so we had a total of 7 children for three days. Getting them all showered, fed, to bed, and to school is a large process. One of the kiddos even set off the burglar alarm and that was unforgettable. However, I'm so grateful for Laura. She is the friend who came to the hospital to get my kiddos the night of my brain bleed, and I'll never forget saying 'Laura they are going to shave my hair off. My friend quickly responded with, 'Heidi, we will do hats.' She has been one of my friends, who has faithfully remained by my side during this journey. Zachary and Isabella also love her very much. We all need a Laura in our lives. THANKS LAURA FOR EVERYTHING....