Happy Fall Time at The Walker's

I know that it has only been a week since we updated the blog, but today we were invited to go over to The Smith Family home so the kiddos could play in the leaves and we could take some fall photos. We really were able to capture some great shots. As far as an update on me, I wrote a post about my 8 week Anniversary in the blog. The recovery is still going to take more time. Some days are challenging while others are rewarding, but I appreciate all of the continued prayers and support. Today illustrates a very happy day for me! Thank you to the Smith Family for inviting us over and taking beautiful photos of our family. Enjoy everyone!

Oh! How I LOVE these two so Much!

These are my favorite photos of Zachary and Isabella.

Izzy and Daddy!

Being Buried ALIVE !

As you can see we were being buried alive in the leaves. Check out those cute little pink boots. AND YES TO MY DOCTORS I STILL FOLLOWED MY RESTRICTIONS!

I'm in Heaven

The Smith Family also collects old VOLVOS so you can see how much Zachary loved it!

One Green Leaf out of the Bunch!

Fall Fun!!!!

The kids loved playing in the leaves. There was a cute little baby black cat that was hanging out. Isabella loved him.

Bitter-sweet Day My 8 week Anniversary

I'm really tired tonight, but I thought that I would write about this day before my memory relapsed, and it seems to help me to write and it is easier for me then telling people because if I had to verbally tell you I would begin to cry.

Today has been a big day! I went in for my Physical Therapy appointment and my therapist said, "Heidi it has been 8 weeks since the stroke and today is the first evaluation of where we are going to check and see what damage the stroke has done." My therapist along with a stroke specialist started the evaluation and lets just say that it was challenging and a very real reality check. So here is the damage and what I will be working on for at least the next following months.

1. The left side it is not worse and it is not any better. This is typical in this stage of the recovery, but I will continue to ride the bike at the gym and will have extensive range of motion and exercises at PT. Let me tell you having one side of your body feel numb an weak at times is a very strange feeling.

2. The stroke effected my eye muscles my tracking is poorly off and it is difficult for me to focus on one object. In fact during eye exercises, I experience double vision. So what does this mean for me? No driving until at the earliest at the New Year possibly longer or a maybe a little shorter. This was the biggest surprise of them all. Who thinks about a stroke effecting eye movement? This is huge.

3. They will continue on working with my balance and coordination there has been improvement in this area.

4. There will also be a lot of work done on my neck muscles since they are in knots, which partly contributes to my headaches.

Lets just say I think there is an order to work on almost every body part. I'll be at PT forever!

The stroke specialist told me that one thing a stroke teaches you is to never take for grant it your body or all of its functions including small eye muscles. Those eye muscles can really effect one's life. However, I have heard of several people who have lost loved ones from a stroke or have loved ones who cannot walk or talk. How grateful I am to have my life. However, I'm going to be honest this has been one of the hardest trial's of my life both physically and emotionally. After all eight weeks ago tonight I was sent ICU and told I could "die." This has been an everlasting life changing event. I appreciate all of the prayers on my behalf. I know that one of these days I will make a full recovery.

The Napping House

There is a cute children's story called "The Napping House." Today Isabella and I created the napping house. Earlier in the morning we went to the gym so I could ride the bike. After riding the bike for about 20 minutes, I got off felt dizzy and 15 minutes later one of my bad headaches came on so Kirk drove us home and I took some of Neuro meds that help with headaches and Isabella and I laid down for a long nap. This is a photo of us after our nap. Clearly the headache is gone for now. Hooray!

Internal Medicine Doc Update

Today I went in and saw my regular doctor. She has been seeing me every couple of weeks or so since the brain bleed. Here is the update:

1. Still no bending my head down or lifting greater then 15lbs.

2. Still no flying in airplanes or going over any mountain passes.

3. Still no driving.

4. Supervised biking at the gym is still ok for no longer then 20 minutes.

5. Blood Pressure was a little high so mid-day naps for at least 2 hours per day.

6. Nerve Testing for my left side of my body may done in a few weeks. Neuro will order that test.

7. I will also have a large panal of blood work done next week.

8. Still in Physical and Occupational Therapy. This will go on for a while.

9. I see my doctor again November 1st and the Neurologist November 10th

We will continue to keep everyone updated. We have also been keeping the ringer off the phone so the best method to reach us is by e-mail or facebook. I also apologize that I have not returned phone calls in a timely manner, but I promise that I will eventually call you back.

Today! I'm Lovin my 3 year old Life

I'm sitting on Mom and Dad's bed sucking on a purple sucker and watching "The Berenstain Bears" Mom is trying to talk me into taking a nap with her, but I really do not want too. Instead I'm just going to enjoy my show, my sucker, and the wonderful friends who come to our home each day and spoil me with treats and fun!

Things that bring me JOY right now!!

A friend of mine challenged a bunch of us to write about things that bring Joy into our lives on our blogs so here is my list!

1. My husband who has fully loved and supported me during this time. I hate to tell the rest of you girls, but I think my husband ROCKS!

2. Zachary and Isabella they are the best and I do not need to say anything else!

3. My extended family and my wonderful friends. You do not know how much I love and appreciate each and everyone of you. I do not know how I'm going to repay you all for all of the love, support, and service that you have provided and continue to provide, but I promise I will pay it foreward in the future.

4. My Faith. If I did not have my Faith I would be lost. I truly love my Savior.

5. Even though my medication makes me sleepy ,and by the way my Neurologist adjusted my dose today, I love my medication right now that provides me relief from headaches!

6. The bike at LA Fitness. Even though I cannot ride it for very long and someone has to be standing next to me it feels awesome to be moving right now even if it is for just a few minutes.

7. Car rides that so many of you have been willing to take me on since I cannot drive right now.

8. My warm and heavy levi quilt that used to be Kirk's but it is now mine. This quilt has been with me since the ICU days and continues to be with me each night.

9. Guided Imagery C.D.'s that help me relax.

10. My friends, who make me laugh, and you know who you are!

11. Great food and we have all enjoyed some really awesome food lately.

12. As weird as it sounds my doctors and my therapists who consistently make sure I have the best care so eventually I can make a full recovery and fully enjoy my life once again.

13. Books! It is so nice to get lost in a great book.

14. Music! I love kicking back and listening to music.

15. My Life! The stroke sucked, but I'm so happy to be alive so I can still enjoy my family and friends.

No more Bleeding on the Brain!!!!

I would guess that not many people would get excited about CT scan images, but I do! This year I have viewed several images of my brain and I have been learning a lot. This image is awesome because it is the first image of no bleed on the brain. However, I still have inflammation around the brain, but at least no bleeding so this is a huge celebration!

The Creepy Halloween Glove

Today my friend Cindy came over to help me out with Isabella. She brought over this plastic glove filled with popcorn and red m&m's for the fingernails. Isabella loves popcorn and of course candy so she thought it was awesome!

Our Star Player!

Here are photos of Zachary's team. I even got a photo of him shooting the ball into the basket! In our family he is our all star player! Way to Go Zachary!

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us!"

I saw this thought on FB the other day and it has caused me to reflect and ponder about life. Since the stroke, there are days that I'm angery and upset because I watch my other friends go on with their lives and are able to be fully active. I admit I'm jealous, but I know when I fully recover I will also be active again and never take my body for grant it. It is interesting how we all imagine how our lives are going to be, and yet never in our wildest dreams do we dream that when we are 36 years old with two young children and husband who works full time and is graduate school that one day we would have a stroke and suddenly our dreams would change My dreams have changed. I dream of the day when I'm able to drive again and I'm able to feel the left side of body. I also dream of the day when I'm off all of my medications and my head does not pound. There are many dreams I dream about right now. However, I know I must live with the reality that this happened to to a 36 year old woman with a young family, and darn it my plans did not happen. However, my life still has been enriched from this experience. I have learned to love and really live in each moment in life because you do not know when that moment will be gone. I learned to love my whole body and appreciate all of the functions that it gives me. I have learned to appreciate and treasure a loving spouse who does not give up or walks out because life has got too difficult. I have learned to love to hear my children's voices whether they are loud or soft. I have learned to treasure sacred conversations with my family and friends. I have learned to tell people that I love them because you never know if you will ever receive that opportunity again. I guess what I'm saying is even though the stroke was not in my plans it has been blessing because if it did not happen, I would not appreciate and know everything that I know now. Thank you Kaylee for sharing the thought!

My First Bike Ride since the stroke

Yesterday I was at PT and my Physical Therapist cleared me to ride the bike at my gym for 10 to 15 minutes at a resistance of 5. Kirk has to be with me the entire time, but it felt so wonderful to get back on a piece of gym equipment today! I was able to tolerate the bike for 10 minutes and ride 2 miles. My heart-rate remained stable and I only felt a little dizzy when I got off. It was a little emotional for me to walk back into the gym today since I have not been there since the stroke. I was thankful to ride the bike, but felt sad when I saw the other equipment that I used to workout on. However, I know one of these days I will be able to do all of that again. Kirk took photos to celebrate one of my milestones.

The Pumpkin Patch

Today we decided to venture out to the pumpkin patch. Kirk decided to take us to a patch right off Highway 18 because it was grassy and it would be an easy place for me to walk. It was a quick trip, but the kids each picked out a pumpkin and we took some cute photos. Enjoy!

Emotional Reunions and Reactions

Lately I have had several reunions with people since the stroke, and more reunions to come. It has been interesting to observe peoples' reactions the first time they look at me. I have been getting a lot of responses such as "Oh my Gosh Heidi you look good." I suspect that they anticipate me to have a drooping face and or body. Thankfully the stroke did not effect me like that, and I got to keep my long and newly colored hair at the time. I even walk perfectly as long as I walk looking straight ahead and I do not look around or look down. However, my fine motor skills are not that finely tuned and it is very apparent when I start to perform those tasks. The other day the PT was having me tap cones with my left foot and I either managed to knock down the cones or simply the cone never got tapped. It was so frustrating that I could not tap those stupid cones. Climbing or going down stairs also takes me a while because the left leg does not want to easily lift up. I'm really starting to begin to notice this since the headaches are a little bit controlled now.

The other night I also saw a large group of women, and some of them had not seen me since the stroke, I received many tearful hugs and it was difficult for me not to start to cry. I think the reality has set in with me that this really happened to me. When I'm at home, it is easy for me to forget about my limitations and often I find myself planning a "normal day" for myself. However, then I will be quickly reminded that I cannot do some of those things right now. However, I remind myself that eventually it will happen again. I'm thankful that my physical appearance looks the same because my brain is not the same. As a wise person once told me "Heidi you will not come out of this the same person." I'm beginning to discover and get to know myself again right now. Recently the Physical Therapist told me that after eight weeks they will for sure know what damage has been done and then they will work on reprogramming my brain and the reteaching begins.

The Prince and The Princess

Here is a photo of Zachary and Isabella before church. Kirk does a pretty awesome job choosing their clothes and helping them get ready for church.

Congrats to Kirk!

I decided that my husband must be genius (I hope I spelled that word right) Tonight he found out that he earned an A in his MBA course. This class started the day I was admitted into ICU, and concluded just this last Thursday. He stayed up all night last Wednesday night completing a 30 page paper and he earned a 99%! He was really shocked! He kept telling me that he would be lucky if he earned a B-; however, I knew that he would pull off at least an A-. His learning team was great and have been very supportive. We are down to only two classes Hooray!

Just us Girls Relaxing!

It is so hard not to pick up Isabella and just hold her, but since I have weight lifting restictions right now we have had to find other activities that we could do together. The other day I just had taken all of my medication and since all of the side-effects are drowiness and dizziness I have to rest for a couple of hours so Kirk grabbed my favorite levi quilt and drapped it over me, and Isabella watched and quickly grabbed her favorite stuffed toy and blanket and sat in the rocker right next to me.

Check out that SHOT!

Before all of this happened I had signed Zachary up for basketball because he loves it. Since basketball can be a noisy sport I had not been attending his games; however, last Monday before his game I had a CT scheduled at the hospital and Zachary begged me to come to his game so I took my pain medication and made it to his game. During the game Zachary shouted out to me that this shot was for me and he made it and Kirk was able to capture a snapshot of it.

Fall at Lake Washington

Since the sun was out we decided to take a drive up to Lake Washington and enjoy the water and the leaves on the trees. It was so relaxing for our family. Kirk and zachary took some snapshots of us. Enjoy!

The Neurologist update

I saw and met my Neurologist this past Thursday. He is the director of the headache clinic at Harborview, and is very smart plus has a nice bedside manner. I feel very blessed that I have been in capable hands during this journey. Here is the update:

1. No driving for at least another month. Real bummer and I cried about this but it could be a lot worse and I realize that I could be dead instead.

2. Intense Physical Therapy for the next three months. I have very poor balance on the left side and my left hand and arm are still a liitle numb. I am able to walk perfectly fine as long as I'm looking straight ahead; however, if I look around I lose my balance.


3. New Neuro meds which make me sleepy but I'm keeping my finger crossed that they help.

4. No bending over or lifting beyond 15 lbs. Shucks I'm still out of the laundry business and I cannot pick up toys, paper etc that the kids drop. I guess I have an excuse for the house to be a little untidy, but it is really starting to drive me crazy.

5. The CT showed no more bleeding on the brain; however, the covering that surrounds the brain is still inflamed and irritated so I still have headaches, but at least I know why.


6. The best news is I have a wonderful and supportive husband, and eventually I will make a full recovery it just going to take a lot of time and patience.

Certain TV shows are off limits for now.

Many of you know I'm addicted to Lifetime's "Army Wives" series. Last week, while I was at therapy my sweet husband drove over to Target and purchased season 5 on DVD. Throughout the week, I have been watching it and tonight one of the episode's showed a solider, who had been jumping out of airplanes, sitting in the ER's waiting room and while waiting he quickly stood up grabbed his head and in slurred speech said that his head was pounding and he could not feel his left side of his body. One of the nurse's on the show said, "The guy is having a stroke." Oh my word while I was watching this show tears streamed down my face, and I quickly became very emotional. What this man described was exactly what I told the medics and my speech was slurred too. Kirk quickly came in an turned off the TV and talked to me. After talking, I felt better. It is amazing how just a TV show can evoke so many emotions. I can honestly say that part of this recovery process is not only physical but also mental. I'm so thankful that I have a team of doctors and therapists who are able to care for me both physically as well as mentally.