every trial in my life has brought me to THIS place.....a place where nothing is perfect but everything is great. i wouldn't change a thing. OK MAYBE A FEW THINGS!!!!
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Eye of the Storm
Oh My! Today Isabella and I took a drive up to Bellevue it was raining hard; however, when we left to turn around to go home it was a down pour on I 405 and I 90. I could not see anything ahead of us and it was like we were driving into a river. There was also a hevay wind storm and not many of the stop lights were working. I truly thought we would be in an accident and I was just waiting for a car to come along and hit us. As I was driving, I quickly decided to get into the far right lane and take the next exit which was the Mercer Island Exit. During this time, I was keeping myself calm, listening about the storm on Komo 4 radio, and praying out loud that we would be safe. We safely arrived to Mercer Island where we sat in the car for one hour waiting for the rain to let up. I could not get a hold of Kirk so from my phone I quickly posted a message on facebook and thankfully many of my friends saw that we were stuck on Mercer Island and called Kirk to notify him where we were at so he was not worried. I was truly grateful to have my phone, access to the internet, and a facebook account where I could quickly post a message letting others know what happened so that they could pass the word along to Kirk! Thank you! By the way Isabella told me she "never wants to go to Mercer Island again." I was thankful that we found a safe location and we eventually arrived home safely. I admit deep down inside I was very scared, but I knew I had to keep my attention focused and remain calm for myself and Isabella. Someone truly helped me during that moment today.
Rain, Rain, Go Away......
Please Read
They are doing another fund raiser for my friend's relative Natalie. If you would like to help please click on the pledgie box. Here is a letter that one of Natalie's friend's wrote. Thank You!
Dear Family & Friends,
I HATE CANCER!! There, now i said it. Most of you know about my battle
with Stage III Breast Cancer. it was an utter shock to my husband and i,
and an overwhelming trial for our family. After chemo, a mastectomy, radiation,
more surgeries, etc., etc., i am grateful to say i am now in remission.
(Yipee!! Except for those yucky pills i still have to take for YEARS which give
me menopausal symptoms—let me tell you, Hot Flashes are Horrid!) Cancer
was hell, but i’ve survived the battle. i will be forever grateful to all those
who i know and love, and all the many that i didn’t even know who prayed for
our family, and helped us in any way.
Now i’m fighting cancer again, i’m just not the one who is sick. My long-time,
dear friend of 20 years, Natalie Lemon Lundberg, has been diagnosed with Stage
IV Cholangiocarcinoma Cancer that has spread from her bile ducts to her liver,
pancreas, lungs, and at least 3 sets of her lymph nodes. She just turned 34
years old.
Can you please help her to be able to MAKE MEMORIES with her family?
Anything and everything would be appreciated. Just because you don’t know
Natalie, doesn’t mean you can’t empathize for the situation that she and her
family are bravely facing. Her time is short…
For however long Natalie has with her family, which we hope is a long time yet,
i have a goal, that i hope you can help with. My goal is that she have
the opportunity, financially, to do all that she wants to with her family, in
the time she has left. Go to DisneyLand, like she’s always dreamed of;
take trips to the Hoogle Zoo; purchase airline tickets for her extended family,
most of whom live out of state; pay for gas and car maintenance so that they
can go all the places they need to safely; etc.
Natalie and i grew up together in Littleton, Colorado and through all the time
and changes that life brings, have remained very close. Currently i live
in Henrieville, Utah, a small town near Bryce Canyon National Park, and Natalie
and her family live in Spanish Fork, Utah, roughly about 4 hours from each
other. She and her husband, Ted have been married 5 years, and have a 4
year old son, Colton, and a 1 year old daughter, Ella. They are an
amazing family! Natalie has been lucky enough to pursue her dream of
becoming a photographer, despite her young family. (Here is her website, you
can see for yourself how gifted she is! http://www.natalielundberg.
) Unfortunately though, there are some things in Life we cannot
foresee. Please help, this young mother and her family anyway you can.
Thank you,
Sincerely~
Logann Marx Eagar,
Natalie’s Sister (in all but blood)
Dear Family & Friends,
I HATE CANCER!! There, now i said it. Most of you know about my battle
with Stage III Breast Cancer. it was an utter shock to my husband and i,
and an overwhelming trial for our family. After chemo, a mastectomy, radiation,
more surgeries, etc., etc., i am grateful to say i am now in remission.
(Yipee!! Except for those yucky pills i still have to take for YEARS which give
me menopausal symptoms—let me tell you, Hot Flashes are Horrid!) Cancer
was hell, but i’ve survived the battle. i will be forever grateful to all those
who i know and love, and all the many that i didn’t even know who prayed for
our family, and helped us in any way.
Now i’m fighting cancer again, i’m just not the one who is sick. My long-time,
dear friend of 20 years, Natalie Lemon Lundberg, has been diagnosed with Stage
IV Cholangiocarcinoma Cancer that has spread from her bile ducts to her liver,
pancreas, lungs, and at least 3 sets of her lymph nodes. She just turned 34
years old.
Can you please help her to be able to MAKE MEMORIES with her family?
Anything and everything would be appreciated. Just because you don’t know
Natalie, doesn’t mean you can’t empathize for the situation that she and her
family are bravely facing. Her time is short…
For however long Natalie has with her family, which we hope is a long time yet,
i have a goal, that i hope you can help with. My goal is that she have
the opportunity, financially, to do all that she wants to with her family, in
the time she has left. Go to DisneyLand, like she’s always dreamed of;
take trips to the Hoogle Zoo; purchase airline tickets for her extended family,
most of whom live out of state; pay for gas and car maintenance so that they
can go all the places they need to safely; etc.
Natalie and i grew up together in Littleton, Colorado and through all the time
and changes that life brings, have remained very close. Currently i live
in Henrieville, Utah, a small town near Bryce Canyon National Park, and Natalie
and her family live in Spanish Fork, Utah, roughly about 4 hours from each
other. She and her husband, Ted have been married 5 years, and have a 4
year old son, Colton, and a 1 year old daughter, Ella. They are an
amazing family! Natalie has been lucky enough to pursue her dream of
becoming a photographer, despite her young family. (Here is her website, you
can see for yourself how gifted she is! http://www.natalielundberg.
) Unfortunately though, there are some things in Life we cannot
foresee. Please help, this young mother and her family anyway you can.
Thank you,
Sincerely~
Logann Marx Eagar,
Natalie’s Sister (in all but blood)
Family Update
I'm up with Isabella because she's not feeling well so I decide to catch up a little on the blog. Sorry I have no photos right now.
Life is truly never dull in the Walker home!
Kirk: This past week, he earned a promotion and raise at work. This was an incredible Thanksgiving gift!!! Since the Master's and brain bleed, we have been praying and pondering about where I family needed to be, and it looks like we will for sure settle in the Seattle area for a while. I think besides finishing the Master's degree this has been the best news in the past 15 months! On a more serious side Kirk's mother has been very ill and had surgery this past week. On Friday we got a call and we were told that they could not wean her off life support. However, over the weekend they were able to remove life support, but she is still in ICU and very ill. Currently we are taking it one day at a time and we hope everything starts improving. As for now we decided tonight to stay in Seattle and wait and see how she does in the next few days.
Heidi: Still in therapies and the recovery is going well. My leg that was hurt is slowly feeling better. I'm also back advocating for writing services for Zachary at school. This week Zachary's Neuro-Psy Dr. Fay is coming to the school, and we are having a huge team meeting. It has been good for me to have to use my special ed skills again. This month has seriously been amazing for me. Even though everything has been hectic and crazy I have been amazed of how everything has come together for our small family in the past 2 weeks. I had someone, whom I have great respect for share with me how they experienced a brain bleed, and today when I sit and listen to this person talk and see what they have become I would have never guessed they had gone through that experience. This has given more strength and courage to keep moving in my recovery, and then when Kirk came home and shared his positive news it was ideal timing.
Zachary: I'm so thankful for his classroom teacher this year and Mrs. Burnette His reading level has been coming up, and these two ladies have really helped him. The other day Mrs. Burnette showed me a book that she bought Zachary called "Zachary's Zebra" She truly enjoys working with Zachary and it makes happy to see that. Zachary also has been enjoying playing with his hotwheel cars. I really believe his future career is going to be something related to cars. He is also enjoying math and loves to work in extra workbooks that I buy him.
Isabella: She is my social butterfly and has several "boyfriends" is what she refers to the little boys who she talks too. One little boy has been begging her to come over to his house for a playdate. Every day when I pick her up from preschool this little guy has a huge smile and tells her goodbye. Her two best friends are Kiera and Tiernany. She is also doing ballet and will have her first dance recital December 9th. They are dancing to "What a Wonderful World" Her teacher told me that she is very skilled in ballet, and Isabella loves it!
Life is truly never dull in the Walker home!
Kirk: This past week, he earned a promotion and raise at work. This was an incredible Thanksgiving gift!!! Since the Master's and brain bleed, we have been praying and pondering about where I family needed to be, and it looks like we will for sure settle in the Seattle area for a while. I think besides finishing the Master's degree this has been the best news in the past 15 months! On a more serious side Kirk's mother has been very ill and had surgery this past week. On Friday we got a call and we were told that they could not wean her off life support. However, over the weekend they were able to remove life support, but she is still in ICU and very ill. Currently we are taking it one day at a time and we hope everything starts improving. As for now we decided tonight to stay in Seattle and wait and see how she does in the next few days.
Heidi: Still in therapies and the recovery is going well. My leg that was hurt is slowly feeling better. I'm also back advocating for writing services for Zachary at school. This week Zachary's Neuro-Psy Dr. Fay is coming to the school, and we are having a huge team meeting. It has been good for me to have to use my special ed skills again. This month has seriously been amazing for me. Even though everything has been hectic and crazy I have been amazed of how everything has come together for our small family in the past 2 weeks. I had someone, whom I have great respect for share with me how they experienced a brain bleed, and today when I sit and listen to this person talk and see what they have become I would have never guessed they had gone through that experience. This has given more strength and courage to keep moving in my recovery, and then when Kirk came home and shared his positive news it was ideal timing.
Zachary: I'm so thankful for his classroom teacher this year and Mrs. Burnette His reading level has been coming up, and these two ladies have really helped him. The other day Mrs. Burnette showed me a book that she bought Zachary called "Zachary's Zebra" She truly enjoys working with Zachary and it makes happy to see that. Zachary also has been enjoying playing with his hotwheel cars. I really believe his future career is going to be something related to cars. He is also enjoying math and loves to work in extra workbooks that I buy him.
Isabella: She is my social butterfly and has several "boyfriends" is what she refers to the little boys who she talks too. One little boy has been begging her to come over to his house for a playdate. Every day when I pick her up from preschool this little guy has a huge smile and tells her goodbye. Her two best friends are Kiera and Tiernany. She is also doing ballet and will have her first dance recital December 9th. They are dancing to "What a Wonderful World" Her teacher told me that she is very skilled in ballet, and Isabella loves it!
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Being Mindful Another lesson that I'm trying to grasp since the bleed
"Mindfulness is a way of being present with what is happening to me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually right now."
Mindful is the word I'm grasping onto right now. Some may know or others may not know, but a few nights back I had a bad fall. I was coming home from the grocery store and was carrying three bags, and feeling dizzy I decided to take the wet grass instead of the walk way, and guess what? I lost my balance and sprained my left ankle and knee. This is the same ankle that I broke a few years ago and the left side is also the side that was effected by the brain bleed. Needless to say, we had a trip to the ER where the doctor ran an EKG, a CT scan, and a lot of x-rays on my leg. Thankfully nothing was broken, but I'm still having trouble and walking and it hurts! While I was in the ER, I met a very kind and wise x-ray tech who took the time to briefly visit with me. She shared with me how her sister has a very painful disease and it has changed her life style, and one way her sister was coping with this hardship was by being mindful. She told me she really wanted me to roll that word around in my brain, and to really stop and think about how I had to adjust my life now since the bleed. For example, not carrying in bags of groceries, wearing good shoes, recognizing when I'm dizzy and fatigued. Since my entire left leg has hurt for the past four days, I have had time to sit and really think about that word, and practice applying to my life. I also recognize how profoundly important it is for me to really keep working on my attention skills so that I'm able to focus and stop and recognize how I'm feeling and what I am doing. Here are the examples
1. Went to the ENT doctor yesterday evidently now the bleed has effected my hearing and they want to do surgery. After the surgery is done I could have weeks of being dizzy, not that I don't already experience this. It also has some risks, and I will eventually have to have the surgery, but it is not critical right now so I was mindful and Kirk and I decided to wait. I shared with Kirk that right now emotionally I'm exhausted and I have been through enough for now. I will consider the surgery in the next 6 to 12 months. Heaven only knows I do not need any other issues or health related problems right now.
2. When my leg is hurting, recognizing that I need to sit and rest it for a while, and not worrying about getting the housework done right now.
3. Currently we are also advocating for Zachary to get writing services at school. I have recognized that Zach needs help in this area, and I have had to gather a lot of information from the school, but I recognize that all of the advocating is a lot of work and Kirk and I have chosen to hire Dr. Gayle Fay to come and talk to the school about Zachary's needs.
Overall, I'm learning that bleed has changed my life and I consistently need to be mindful about how I am doing. I know that I have been striving so hard to get back to where I was at prior to the bleed, but in ways that is living in the past and it is not living in the present. Presently, I should not be hauling in groceries from the car, and when I'm dizzy I need to sit down. Mindfulness is the word!
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