And They Lived Happily Ever After!

The other day a friend was over visiting us.  We got on the subject of trials of faith and health that sometimes come into our lives and can effect our marriages.  Almost 18 years ago, I was a newlywed bride, and like many young brides I had visions of what my happily ever after looked like!  However, six months into our marriage big trials of health came into our lives.  At the time we both were attending school, and I had become very ill and was given a blessing by my loving husband and Bishop and was told, "Heavenly Father did not know when I would become well."  Those words have come to past several times through our almost 18 years of marriage, and at times are difficult to swallow.

I don't want to leave the impression with others that we have an unhappy marriage, but I do want to leave a realistic picture that trials of faith and health are very challenging on relationships.  During our 18 years of marriage I have had numerous health challenges, we have lost a baby, a parent, and I had a brain bleed that nearly left my husband alone to raise two young children and one with special needs.  When these trials came, there were days that were difficult and sometimes it was very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I carried around guilt of causing hardships to our young family while recognizing that some things are beyond our control.  My husband carried around the burden that he had to keep our family afloat by caring for our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  During times of trial he would frequently come home from along day of work to a wife who was in despair and crying and did not know how much more she could take.  Followed by a son, who had very specific emotional and academic needs, and a young daughter who had her health challenges as well.  He would often say that he has to put on the blinders temporally so that he can focus on the now, and then have enough strength and energy to care for our needs.  I often ask myself why did my husband stay and did not run far away?  As I have reflected upon this question, for several years it has come to me it is because he is truly faithful to our eternal marriage, and he relies on our Savior to carry him in those dark moments. How many women can honestly say that they have a faithful husband?  How many women can honestly say that they have a husband who is committed and will several times sacrifice his own desires to care for his family and keep his marriage alive?  I have personally witnessed not many, and though we have had those trials our marriage has been strengthened.

I also reflect upon those words that were given to my husband several years ago by a loving Father in Heaven that said, "Heavenly Father did not know when I would become well."  How true those words have rang throughout our marriage.  It would be so very easy for us to throw in the towel and give up on our marriage.  However, over the years we have been schooled through our trials of health and we have chosen to make our marriage better rather then weaker.  I know personally my definition of what happily ever after looks like has drastically changed, but 18 years later I like my happily ever after now, and I would take those trials of health over and over again.

Kindness Matters

It seems like there has been a lot of  debating, bashing, and less tolerance on social media lately.  It seems like every time I choose to look at social media someone is offending someone else, and feelings are hurt.  I have read on several posts where people are unfriending and or unfollowing others to avoid the negativity of others.  There are also people who like myself, who are choosing not to look at social media frequently, but I'm also depriving myself of not being able to see all of the positive things my family and friends are up too.

Yesterday was my youngest uncle's birthday.  A year ago he suffered a stroke, that I know personally changes a person's life and their family's life forever.  As I got on Facebook, to wish him a Happy Birthday, my heart was filled with gratefulness that he was still living on this Earth to celebrate another birthday with family and friends!  However, as I was scrolling down through my feed I saw so many comments of hate, unfairness, people saying that they are unfriending or unfriended because they were offended by what someone had said or what they did to them, and many other unkind remarks.  Reading these comments caused my heart to hurt and I felt angry.  However, while I was in the car shuttling my kids around we were listening to the new Primary music CD that we were given the other day, and as we were listening to those songs I told my kids, "You know what I love these Primary songs because it simply reminds us that regardless of what is going on in the world kindness matters and we need to do our best to be Christlike whether we agree with others or not.  People matter more then events, and if we choose to be offended or if we are the offender then we need to seek forgiveness and move on."

A year ago when I almost lost my uncle and five years ago when I almost lost my own life taught me powerful lessons that I need to sometimes be reminded.  The lesson I learned was that life can be taken from anyone one of us on a moment's notice, and each of us face our personal challenges and we all need each other to help us on this journey of life so lets focus on the people who we love and matter most to us because in the end everything is going to be okay!

The Transformation

I have been thinking a lot about transformation and what it all entails. Last night I read an entire book again and learned that five years later these are still my favorite quotes from this author who battled many hardships in her life, and that I need to continue to learn from each of these quotes. The book is called "Running with Angels" and it is an excellent read! I love the many angels my Father in Heaven puts in my path here on earth and beyond the veil.

"Drawing on our life's experiences helps us have more compassion for others."
"Finding time for ourselves does not automatically mean that we are neglecting or taking time away from others."
"Smaller, incremental steps will lead you steadily toward your ultimate goal."
"Change takes place one step at a time."
"Embracing love and support from others will help us in whichever life race we run."
"Prepare for Success"