And They Lived Happily Ever After!

The other day a friend was over visiting us.  We got on the subject of trials of faith and health that sometimes come into our lives and can effect our marriages.  Almost 18 years ago, I was a newlywed bride, and like many young brides I had visions of what my happily ever after looked like!  However, six months into our marriage big trials of health came into our lives.  At the time we both were attending school, and I had become very ill and was given a blessing by my loving husband and Bishop and was told, "Heavenly Father did not know when I would become well."  Those words have come to past several times through our almost 18 years of marriage, and at times are difficult to swallow.

I don't want to leave the impression with others that we have an unhappy marriage, but I do want to leave a realistic picture that trials of faith and health are very challenging on relationships.  During our 18 years of marriage I have had numerous health challenges, we have lost a baby, a parent, and I had a brain bleed that nearly left my husband alone to raise two young children and one with special needs.  When these trials came, there were days that were difficult and sometimes it was very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I carried around guilt of causing hardships to our young family while recognizing that some things are beyond our control.  My husband carried around the burden that he had to keep our family afloat by caring for our physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.  During times of trial he would frequently come home from along day of work to a wife who was in despair and crying and did not know how much more she could take.  Followed by a son, who had very specific emotional and academic needs, and a young daughter who had her health challenges as well.  He would often say that he has to put on the blinders temporally so that he can focus on the now, and then have enough strength and energy to care for our needs.  I often ask myself why did my husband stay and did not run far away?  As I have reflected upon this question, for several years it has come to me it is because he is truly faithful to our eternal marriage, and he relies on our Savior to carry him in those dark moments. How many women can honestly say that they have a faithful husband?  How many women can honestly say that they have a husband who is committed and will several times sacrifice his own desires to care for his family and keep his marriage alive?  I have personally witnessed not many, and though we have had those trials our marriage has been strengthened.

I also reflect upon those words that were given to my husband several years ago by a loving Father in Heaven that said, "Heavenly Father did not know when I would become well."  How true those words have rang throughout our marriage.  It would be so very easy for us to throw in the towel and give up on our marriage.  However, over the years we have been schooled through our trials of health and we have chosen to make our marriage better rather then weaker.  I know personally my definition of what happily ever after looks like has drastically changed, but 18 years later I like my happily ever after now, and I would take those trials of health over and over again.