My Second LOVE

This handsome kiddo saw an ADORABLE female classmate in the produce area at Safeway tonight. He walked over to her and smiled. Followed by the second smile he quickly informed us that he really likes Sophia and she is his second love. What is funny about this is back during Kindergarten Round Up days we met Sophia and her mom. Sophia's mom came over and remarked to me that I have, "The most adorable little boy and he is so handsome." Now they are in first grade together and like each other. How cute is that?

Christmas Day

We had a fun day spending quiet time together as a family and then going down to my cousin's home for dinner. Here are a couple of photos. Isabella gave me a new purple body pillow which she told me all about it 3 days before Christmas.

419

The above number will always be engraved in my mind and heart. It is such a biiter-sweet number to me. The other day I was at the hospital at neuro-rehab. While I was waiting for one of my therapists' a lady came over to the front desk and she was speaking to the clerk as she turned around to leave she noticed me sitting in the waiting area. She quickly came over and said, "Hi Heidi so do you know who I am?" I quickly recognized that she was one of ICU nurses who cared for me each night I was in the hospital. I stood up and we embraced. She then asked me if I had time to take a walk with her up to the Critcal Care Unit so a couple of other nurses who also cared for me could see me and could say hi. I agreed so we walked over and went up on the elevator. While we were on the elevator the nurse explained to me that it is important to them to see their previous patients that they have taken care of because often their patients die or are taken to a residential home and they never get to see them again. She said therefore we never know their ending to their story. As we stepped off the elevator I noticed the sign that said, "Welcome to Critcal Care. All vistors must be 12 years or older and check in at the nurse's desk." Tears started to stream down my face as I realized that just a short few months ago I was on this floor fighting for my life. We walked past my old room 419 and thankfully it was vacant; however, it brought back a flood of memories. This was the room I was told that I could die and also the room that I was told that I would live but have an extensive recovery. This is the room where my story began. We reached the nurse's desk where I was embraced by two other nurses who cared for me so well. What an incredible moment it was for me to share with them the rest of my story. Each of them had huge smiles on their faces and told me how much my visit meant to them and how thankful they were to see me walking, talking, and living my new life that I have been given. We embraced again and then Katie the nurse who brought me up to CCU walked with me back down to rehab. It was a bitter-sweet moment in my recovery journey, but also a part of my healing. Not only did I recall the sad and hard moments of this journey, but I also realized the incredible moments as well as the miracles that have happened to me in the past 100 days. How blessed I am to have the opportunity to share another Holiday season with my beautiful family and friends. I cannot wait to make more beatiful memories with Kirk, Zachary, and Isabella this coming year! My life is my greatest gift this year! A special thank you to all of the CCU Nurses, who cared for me. There are not enough words to express my feelings, but you all are my special angels. Merry Christmas!!!!

Dear Santa

Dear Mr. C.

This year the Walker family has a few requests so here they are:

Kirk: Please bring over some Coke Zero that will get me through until January 12th.

Heidi: Please help my brain to remember how to use all parts of my body.

Zachary: Please help me pass all of my Spelling Tests. I really do not like spelling.

Isabella: Please bring over some Magic Erasers so I can clean off the black marker that is on Mommy's hutch.

Thank You!

The Walker Family

Jingle all the WAY!

During the year 2011 our family was asked to serve at The Weatherly INN (assisted living). Today we did a small Christmas program with all of the kiddos at church. They sang "Jingle Bells", which I thought was the best part of the program. Here is a photo of Zachary and Bells! Check out those Jingle Bells they're so awesome!

Swallowing Eval

Yesterday I had my swallow test, and by the way it is not a fun test and I will not share the details here. They found out that my swallowing muscles are working slower then they should, which is common after this type of bleed. They doctor and speech therapist said that I'm very lucky that the bleed did not take out my swallowing. I'll now add on another appointment and have swallowing therapy for a while. At least I now know why I have been chocking on some of my food. Overall, the recovery is slow and steady; however, I believe everything has now all fallen together, which feels good.

Gene Coulon Beach Park

This morning we went to go and check out the candy canes and clam lights at Gene Coulon. Enjoy the photos.

Neurology and Neuro Rehab update

This week I started my Neuro Rehab and saw the Neurologist so here is the laundry list.

1. Restrictions remain the same.

2. In the next six to eight weeks I will practice backing the car out of a parking space and pulling it in with the PT.

3. Swallowing test and Eval will take place next Tuesday and Thursday with the Radiologist and Speech Therapist.

4. Neurologist increased my medication this has been helping with the headaches.

5. A lot of eye excercises and balancing excercises.

6. My Neurologist broke the news to me that it is going to be a while until I can return to the gym again, but I can go on one to two mile walks supervised.

7. I like my new PT, but she is seriously going to work my butt off, which I appreciate.

My new Pt has a brother, who suffered the same type of bleed four years ago so she told me she is very "passsionate" about my condition. At the end of this week, I feel exhausted and tired, but that tells me that the PT has been doing her job. Will update about the swallow eval next week. I'm able to swallow, but my Neuro said that this bleed can effect the swallowing muscles so he wants to make sure that my swallowing muscles are functioning correctly.

The First Christmas Party of the Year

Today we went to our first party it was really fantastic and my head survived the noise. One of my friend's Sara was there so we captured a photo of the two of us. Sara has been one of my friend's who has faithfully helped us out. I truly have been blessed during this time.

"I'm sure Santa is Going to Like Me." by Isabella

This is a fun year because this is the first year when both kiddos really enjoy Santa!

Balanced myself today!

Exciting day I was able to balance on my right foot for 30 seconds without hanging onto the bar. This is huge because the brain maybe starting to make the connections again. My Physical Therapist is moving to Chicago at the end of the week, which sucks for me because she has helped me since the beginning of this, but she is going to get married, and her husband is a future Neurologist and he has a steady practice. (So she has a good excuse!) However, my Neurologist is sending me to a five day a week Neuro-Rehab in which they will be able to do intensive eye excercises, dizzy therapy (in which I probably will have Nausea or puke for a while), pool therapy, and I will also have another swallowing Eval since my swallowing was a little slow in the hospital they want to recheck that. Overall I'm ready to begin more intensive therapy so this is awesome for me!

To Grandpa Walker we love and we are thinking about you!

Dear Grandpa thank you for everything that you have done for us and our children. We want you to know that we love you and we are praying for you. Enjoy the photos of all of the memories that we have had shared together.

Love, Kirk, Heidi, Zachary, and Isabella Reva.

In Honor of Grandpa Walker


Garndfather
Author: Unknown
Since I was a little child,
In all that I've been through;
You've always been my hero,
No one stood as tall as you.

You were the one who took the time,
To teach what I needed to learn;
The lessons in life you shared with me,
You shared with love and concern.

I loved you as a little child,
And now that I am grown;
I share those lessons you taught me;
With children of my own.

Generation to generation,
I'll pass on your legacy;
I'll tell of my loving Grandfather,
And all that you mean to me.

New Neurology Update

Today I saw Dr. Hamilton my Neuro-Opthamologist at Swedish. He checked out my vision and determined to place a prism in my left lens of my glasses. I will also possibly have a prism in my right lens eventually. The purpose of the prism is to help correct the the double vision that I sometimes experience and to help me focus. He is not clear if this problem will go away or not. If it goes away fantastic; however, if it does not I will have permanent prisms placed in my glasses. I also got a new pair of prescription sunglasses today and I really like them.

After Dr. Hamilton I saw my internal med doctor. She said I still have my lifting and driving restrictions. I also cannot bend over. She also agreed with Dr. Piker that I may have dizziness the rest of my life so the physical therapist is teaching my body to accommodate. This is not a fun process, but whatever it takes to recover.

I see my Neurologist Dr. Piker next week. The medication that he has me on has been working out well so I'm keeping my fingers crossed. This recovery has been taking a lot longer than I thought but I'm so thankful for everyone who has helped me during this process. I have been learning a lot and I'm so thankful to be alive during this holiday season. It truly is going to be a special Christmas for our family this year! Thanks for your continued prayers I really feel and have felt my Savior's love for me.

Hooray! The New Medication appears to have been working well for Days!

Last Tuesday I started the new Neuro med and it has been working. My Neurologist has been having me increase my dose every three days, and I have not been experiencing many headaches. Last Wednesday my Physical Therapist also informed me that my left side has been improving in strength; however,my Vestibulo-occular testing results are still poor so on Monday I'll see my previous Neuro-Opthamologist at Swedish for additional testing. Apparently, according to the therapists and doctors I have difficulty scanning or locating an object, I have large amplitude eye movements in the direction of head rotation, and have aberrant eye movements with no clear pattern. So we are hoping that Dr. Hamilton will be able to offer some suggestions on how this issue needs to be worked out. But for now I'm thankful that the headaches are under control.

Our New Christmas Tree

This year we decided to get a new Christmas tree last night Kirk put it up and we all decorated it with Great Grandma Walker's crocheted angels and stockings.

The New Rug for the Living Room

Look what Kirk brought home from Home Depot! I'm so excited that I have a large rug for my living room, and look who also helped to bring it out. When they decide to work they actually work well together!

Great Quote

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melody Beattie..

I saw this quote and really liked it. Considering November has been a stormy month not only for myself, but for many this brings it all into full circle. I know this past couple of weeks have been challenging for many of our family members and friends. Many of them have suffered illnesses, injuries, and loss of a loved one. I do not remember a November that has been so stormy! However, our family is thankful to know each of you, and our family has been blessed during these past few months. Happy Thanksgiving

Our Beautiful Heartbreak

I decided that I'm going to start to refer to the brain bleed as "our beautiful heartbreak" As you listen to the song "Beautiful Heartbreak" playing on the blog you will hear the words about trials and triumphs, and the wonderful view that our trials can create in our lives.

Today I saw Dr. Piker my Neurologist. It was a good but also a tearful visit. We discussed my eye muscles and how the stroke made them weak and damaged some of the nerves. He said that I will be doing therapy for my eyes, but we do not know how or when this will heal. This is a typical problem because the stroke took place deep in my mid-brain near the brain stem. So what does this mean for our family? I cannot drive and restrictions remain the same. We also discussed my dizzy spells, which sometimes are scary. He said that this may or may not go away. he told me I may have to learn to live with dizzy spells and remain on medication possibly for life. The physical therapist will continue to do vestibular therapy to help my body adapt to feeling dizzy at times. This is also common since the bleed was in the midbrain near the brain stem. He also changed my medication for the headaches and inflammation around the brain. We went to the pharmacy and the new medication cost 162.00 dollars after insurance. If this works we will be doing a 90 day supply.

Now for our beautiful heartbreak piece. We have felt blessed as a family. This has been a mountain that we have had to climb together, but we have seen many great views along our path. Many people have been supportive by offering words of encouragement, hope and strength. We have been getting the opportunity to meet several people, and to see all of their great qualities. We have truly appreciated all of our friends who have stood by our side and have offered their support by sending cards, gifts, e-mails, visits, and phone calls. We have also felt everyone's prayers, and have seen miracles during his recovery process. I think the greatest miracle that we have seen is the gift of life, which is a miraculous view. I think about daily how life would be if my children did not have their mother or Kirk did not have his wife. Kirk and I have had many discussions about this and we both agree that we can live with damaged eye muscles and possibly feeling dizzy the rest of my life. We can also live with paying large prescription and doctor bills as long as it is providing us with a good quality of life. As I have said before the stroke sucked, but now I would not change it because of the views that my family and I get to see as we climb this mountain. We appreciate all of the continued prayers for a full recovery, and I feel them. I have days when I break down and cry and feel like I cannot carry this burden any longer, but then I think about the "small views" that I have seen thus far and I'm grateful for the gift of life. My next neuro appointment is in a month. We will keep everyone updated as our climb continues. Thanks for all of your love and support.

A good friend

Here is a photo of our friend Shaunna with Zachary and Isabella. They kiddos gave her a gift last week and they were so excited to give it to her that I had to get a photo of her with them. She has been a wonderful friend to us in Washington, and we have truly appreciated all of her time service that she has rendered to our family.

I'm Sure Santa is going to Like Me! Words spoken by Isabella

What an adorable photo of the two of them!

HALLOWEEN FUN

Here are some photos from Halloween. We got some cute pictures with Snow White and Isabella and we captured a photo of me and one of my 12 year old students that I have taught in Sunday School. I have not seen this student since this event so everyone wanted to get a photo of the two of us. As you can see Zachary was a Transformer and Isabella was Little Red Riding Hood. They also had fun with their little friends.

Happy Fall Time at The Walker's

I know that it has only been a week since we updated the blog, but today we were invited to go over to The Smith Family home so the kiddos could play in the leaves and we could take some fall photos. We really were able to capture some great shots. As far as an update on me, I wrote a post about my 8 week Anniversary in the blog. The recovery is still going to take more time. Some days are challenging while others are rewarding, but I appreciate all of the continued prayers and support. Today illustrates a very happy day for me! Thank you to the Smith Family for inviting us over and taking beautiful photos of our family. Enjoy everyone!

Oh! How I LOVE these two so Much!

These are my favorite photos of Zachary and Isabella.

Izzy and Daddy!

Being Buried ALIVE !

As you can see we were being buried alive in the leaves. Check out those cute little pink boots. AND YES TO MY DOCTORS I STILL FOLLOWED MY RESTRICTIONS!

I'm in Heaven

The Smith Family also collects old VOLVOS so you can see how much Zachary loved it!

One Green Leaf out of the Bunch!

Fall Fun!!!!

The kids loved playing in the leaves. There was a cute little baby black cat that was hanging out. Isabella loved him.

Bitter-sweet Day My 8 week Anniversary

I'm really tired tonight, but I thought that I would write about this day before my memory relapsed, and it seems to help me to write and it is easier for me then telling people because if I had to verbally tell you I would begin to cry.

Today has been a big day! I went in for my Physical Therapy appointment and my therapist said, "Heidi it has been 8 weeks since the stroke and today is the first evaluation of where we are going to check and see what damage the stroke has done." My therapist along with a stroke specialist started the evaluation and lets just say that it was challenging and a very real reality check. So here is the damage and what I will be working on for at least the next following months.

1. The left side it is not worse and it is not any better. This is typical in this stage of the recovery, but I will continue to ride the bike at the gym and will have extensive range of motion and exercises at PT. Let me tell you having one side of your body feel numb an weak at times is a very strange feeling.

2. The stroke effected my eye muscles my tracking is poorly off and it is difficult for me to focus on one object. In fact during eye exercises, I experience double vision. So what does this mean for me? No driving until at the earliest at the New Year possibly longer or a maybe a little shorter. This was the biggest surprise of them all. Who thinks about a stroke effecting eye movement? This is huge.

3. They will continue on working with my balance and coordination there has been improvement in this area.

4. There will also be a lot of work done on my neck muscles since they are in knots, which partly contributes to my headaches.

Lets just say I think there is an order to work on almost every body part. I'll be at PT forever!

The stroke specialist told me that one thing a stroke teaches you is to never take for grant it your body or all of its functions including small eye muscles. Those eye muscles can really effect one's life. However, I have heard of several people who have lost loved ones from a stroke or have loved ones who cannot walk or talk. How grateful I am to have my life. However, I'm going to be honest this has been one of the hardest trial's of my life both physically and emotionally. After all eight weeks ago tonight I was sent ICU and told I could "die." This has been an everlasting life changing event. I appreciate all of the prayers on my behalf. I know that one of these days I will make a full recovery.

The Napping House

There is a cute children's story called "The Napping House." Today Isabella and I created the napping house. Earlier in the morning we went to the gym so I could ride the bike. After riding the bike for about 20 minutes, I got off felt dizzy and 15 minutes later one of my bad headaches came on so Kirk drove us home and I took some of Neuro meds that help with headaches and Isabella and I laid down for a long nap. This is a photo of us after our nap. Clearly the headache is gone for now. Hooray!

Internal Medicine Doc Update

Today I went in and saw my regular doctor. She has been seeing me every couple of weeks or so since the brain bleed. Here is the update:

1. Still no bending my head down or lifting greater then 15lbs.

2. Still no flying in airplanes or going over any mountain passes.

3. Still no driving.

4. Supervised biking at the gym is still ok for no longer then 20 minutes.

5. Blood Pressure was a little high so mid-day naps for at least 2 hours per day.

6. Nerve Testing for my left side of my body may done in a few weeks. Neuro will order that test.

7. I will also have a large panal of blood work done next week.

8. Still in Physical and Occupational Therapy. This will go on for a while.

9. I see my doctor again November 1st and the Neurologist November 10th

We will continue to keep everyone updated. We have also been keeping the ringer off the phone so the best method to reach us is by e-mail or facebook. I also apologize that I have not returned phone calls in a timely manner, but I promise that I will eventually call you back.

Today! I'm Lovin my 3 year old Life

I'm sitting on Mom and Dad's bed sucking on a purple sucker and watching "The Berenstain Bears" Mom is trying to talk me into taking a nap with her, but I really do not want too. Instead I'm just going to enjoy my show, my sucker, and the wonderful friends who come to our home each day and spoil me with treats and fun!

Things that bring me JOY right now!!

A friend of mine challenged a bunch of us to write about things that bring Joy into our lives on our blogs so here is my list!

1. My husband who has fully loved and supported me during this time. I hate to tell the rest of you girls, but I think my husband ROCKS!

2. Zachary and Isabella they are the best and I do not need to say anything else!

3. My extended family and my wonderful friends. You do not know how much I love and appreciate each and everyone of you. I do not know how I'm going to repay you all for all of the love, support, and service that you have provided and continue to provide, but I promise I will pay it foreward in the future.

4. My Faith. If I did not have my Faith I would be lost. I truly love my Savior.

5. Even though my medication makes me sleepy ,and by the way my Neurologist adjusted my dose today, I love my medication right now that provides me relief from headaches!

6. The bike at LA Fitness. Even though I cannot ride it for very long and someone has to be standing next to me it feels awesome to be moving right now even if it is for just a few minutes.

7. Car rides that so many of you have been willing to take me on since I cannot drive right now.

8. My warm and heavy levi quilt that used to be Kirk's but it is now mine. This quilt has been with me since the ICU days and continues to be with me each night.

9. Guided Imagery C.D.'s that help me relax.

10. My friends, who make me laugh, and you know who you are!

11. Great food and we have all enjoyed some really awesome food lately.

12. As weird as it sounds my doctors and my therapists who consistently make sure I have the best care so eventually I can make a full recovery and fully enjoy my life once again.

13. Books! It is so nice to get lost in a great book.

14. Music! I love kicking back and listening to music.

15. My Life! The stroke sucked, but I'm so happy to be alive so I can still enjoy my family and friends.

No more Bleeding on the Brain!!!!

I would guess that not many people would get excited about CT scan images, but I do! This year I have viewed several images of my brain and I have been learning a lot. This image is awesome because it is the first image of no bleed on the brain. However, I still have inflammation around the brain, but at least no bleeding so this is a huge celebration!

The Creepy Halloween Glove

Today my friend Cindy came over to help me out with Isabella. She brought over this plastic glove filled with popcorn and red m&m's for the fingernails. Isabella loves popcorn and of course candy so she thought it was awesome!