Our Beautiful Heartbreak

I decided that I'm going to start to refer to the brain bleed as "our beautiful heartbreak" As you listen to the song "Beautiful Heartbreak" playing on the blog you will hear the words about trials and triumphs, and the wonderful view that our trials can create in our lives.

Today I saw Dr. Piker my Neurologist. It was a good but also a tearful visit. We discussed my eye muscles and how the stroke made them weak and damaged some of the nerves. He said that I will be doing therapy for my eyes, but we do not know how or when this will heal. This is a typical problem because the stroke took place deep in my mid-brain near the brain stem. So what does this mean for our family? I cannot drive and restrictions remain the same. We also discussed my dizzy spells, which sometimes are scary. He said that this may or may not go away. he told me I may have to learn to live with dizzy spells and remain on medication possibly for life. The physical therapist will continue to do vestibular therapy to help my body adapt to feeling dizzy at times. This is also common since the bleed was in the midbrain near the brain stem. He also changed my medication for the headaches and inflammation around the brain. We went to the pharmacy and the new medication cost 162.00 dollars after insurance. If this works we will be doing a 90 day supply.

Now for our beautiful heartbreak piece. We have felt blessed as a family. This has been a mountain that we have had to climb together, but we have seen many great views along our path. Many people have been supportive by offering words of encouragement, hope and strength. We have been getting the opportunity to meet several people, and to see all of their great qualities. We have truly appreciated all of our friends who have stood by our side and have offered their support by sending cards, gifts, e-mails, visits, and phone calls. We have also felt everyone's prayers, and have seen miracles during his recovery process. I think the greatest miracle that we have seen is the gift of life, which is a miraculous view. I think about daily how life would be if my children did not have their mother or Kirk did not have his wife. Kirk and I have had many discussions about this and we both agree that we can live with damaged eye muscles and possibly feeling dizzy the rest of my life. We can also live with paying large prescription and doctor bills as long as it is providing us with a good quality of life. As I have said before the stroke sucked, but now I would not change it because of the views that my family and I get to see as we climb this mountain. We appreciate all of the continued prayers for a full recovery, and I feel them. I have days when I break down and cry and feel like I cannot carry this burden any longer, but then I think about the "small views" that I have seen thus far and I'm grateful for the gift of life. My next neuro appointment is in a month. We will keep everyone updated as our climb continues. Thanks for all of your love and support.