Lately I have had several reunions with people since the stroke, and more reunions to come. It has been interesting to observe peoples' reactions the first time they look at me. I have been getting a lot of responses such as "Oh my Gosh Heidi you look good." I suspect that they anticipate me to have a drooping face and or body. Thankfully the stroke did not effect me like that, and I got to keep my long and newly colored hair at the time. I even walk perfectly as long as I walk looking straight ahead and I do not look around or look down. However, my fine motor skills are not that finely tuned and it is very apparent when I start to perform those tasks. The other day the PT was having me tap cones with my left foot and I either managed to knock down the cones or simply the cone never got tapped. It was so frustrating that I could not tap those stupid cones. Climbing or going down stairs also takes me a while because the left leg does not want to easily lift up. I'm really starting to begin to notice this since the headaches are a little bit controlled now.
The other night I also saw a large group of women, and some of them had not seen me since the stroke, I received many tearful hugs and it was difficult for me not to start to cry. I think the reality has set in with me that this really happened to me. When I'm at home, it is easy for me to forget about my limitations and often I find myself planning a "normal day" for myself. However, then I will be quickly reminded that I cannot do some of those things right now. However, I remind myself that eventually it will happen again. I'm thankful that my physical appearance looks the same because my brain is not the same. As a wise person once told me "Heidi you will not come out of this the same person." I'm beginning to discover and get to know myself again right now. Recently the Physical Therapist told me that after eight weeks they will for sure know what damage has been done and then they will work on reprogramming my brain and the reteaching begins.
every trial in my life has brought me to THIS place.....a place where nothing is perfect but everything is great. i wouldn't change a thing. OK MAYBE A FEW THINGS!!!!
