License to Chill

Piggies and All! Happy 4th of July



No Fireworks for the Walkers!  Instead we took the kiddos to the park where they had 4th of July activities.  They discovered something new that they wanted to take home.



Isabella was the first to discover the baby pig.  She begged me to take him home.



Zachary loved the piglet too!  He has a gentle way with animals.

One of the worker's picked up the pig so Isabella could pet it.  She really enjoyed the Pot Belly.  And no we are not adding a pig to the family even though our children are telling everyone that they are going to get a pet pig!

Zachary riding a pony.  Thankfully they did not ask for a pony!

Enjoying the ride!

The newest family photo!  Everyone is smiling!

Happy 4th of July!!!!



The kids loved the size of the horse

Farewell to First Grade!

Here are some photos that I was able to capture today on the last day of school since we missed the opportunity on the first day of first grade.  There are photos of his teacher Ms. Clay and Zachary, and a photo of Zachary and Mrs. Burnette.  Mrs. Burnette volunteers at Zachary's school and she faithfully worked with him on reading every week.  She also drew him car race track, which is hanging in his room now.  Thank you so much for helping him he really enjoyed the two of you!


The offical future 2nd Grader!



Zachary and his teacher Ms. Clay

Zachary holding a book with Mrs. Burnette

The Loss of a friend and a gift to Education

This morning Kirk was notified that one of his classmate's and friend's from his Master's program passed away. Maria was a frequent reader of our family blog. All of the time she would inquire about my recovery, and on the day of Graduation she came over and gave me a huge hug and told me how happy she was that I was alive and had been given the gift of life. She also would assist Kirk with class assignments, and was a wonderful team player

Maria was my classmate, she was intelligent, a lover of life, and being a friend and helper to her classmates. On the behalf of myself and my wife Heidi we will miss Maria and want you to know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Maria was a gift to education! God Bless You All!




Kirk and the Walker Family

"My Stroke of Insight"

Yesterday I was in Physical Therapy and my therapist handed me a book titled "My Stroke of Insight" and told me that  she would like me to read it because it reminded her of me.  The book is about a thirty-seven year old Harvard-tarined brain scientist who suffered a brain hemorrage.  The book was so excellent that I read it in two hours and could strongly relate to this woman.  The author was able to convey thoughts and feelings that I have also experienced since my brain hemorrage. In her book, she mentions that on December 10, 1996, the old Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor died and now she must embrace her new self because her brain has ever changed.  The same holds true for me, and I now am able to to accept it. This book also offered me a lot of insightful information, and I realized that many of my unspoken and spoken prayers had finally been answered by my Physical Therapist, who shared this book with me.  I needed this book and finally there was someone who was able to understand me and articulate many of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas of my brain bleed through her book.  For those of you who have supported me and continue to support my recovery, I highly recommend that you read this book because it truly explains "Heidi" since the brain hemorrage. Here are some insights that I got from the book.

I need people around me to believe in the plasticity of my brain and its ability to grow, learn, and recover.

I need people to love me not for the person I had been, but for who I might now become.

Always offer me multiple choice questions never ask me yes/no questions. Forced choice demand that I open old files or create new ones.  Yes/ No questions demand no real thought.

Emotional healing is a tediously slow process but well worth the effort.

What a wonderful gift this stroke has been in permitting me to pick and choose who and how I want to be in the world.  Since the hemorrhage my eyes have been opened to how much choice I actually have about what goes on between my ears.

Having taken this unexpected journey into the depths of my brain I am grateful and amazed that I have completely recovered physically, cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually.

To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful.  It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.

Trust that I am trying just not with your skill level or on your schedule.

I may want you to think I understand more than I really do.

Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.

Love me for the person I am today. Don't hold me to being the person I was before.  I have a different brain now.

One of the greatest lessons I learned was how to feel the physical component of emotion.

I was a fragile living being and life is a precious gift.

There was sluggishness about my brain.

I have learned so much from this experience with the stroke, that I actually feel fortunate to have taken this journey.

I existed in some remote space that seemed to be far away from my normal information processing and it was clear that the "I" whom I had grown up to be had not survived this neurological catastrophe.

Walking became a very important part of my routine.  When you feel like a fluid it's impossible to know where your physical boundaries begin and end.

This stroke has not only opened my eyes to the beauty and resiliency of the human brain, but also the generosity of the human spirit.

Feeling the warmth of the sunshine upon my face or the kiss of a breeze on my cheek connects me directly with a part of myself that feels at one with all that is.

You and you choose moment by moment who you want to be in the world. I encourage you to pay attention to what is going on in your brain.  Own your power and show up for your life.  Beam Bright!


If you choose read this book I hope you all will find as much insightful information as I have.  Even if you have not experienced a brain bleed there are parts to this book that apply to all of us.  My Physical Therapist suggested that we hold a Celebration of Life on my first year anniversary which will be August 31st.  We plan on having a celebration and will send out more details in the near future. I also want to express my thankfulness to my physical therapist Deinse.  I know that you were met to be a part of my life during this period of my journey.  Thank you for believing in my brain and in me.  What an incredible journey this continues to be!

We saw Dr. German today and Isabella is up a half of pound, and her blood work is looking good.  So far everyone else is healthy so it looks like we will come for a visit home early next week.  Here is a photo of Isabella in the hospital.  Behind her is some of her stash of toys that she got.

The Bitter-Sweet taste of the brain bleed

A few weeks ago I saw my Neurologist for my blood pressure, but today I saw him for my full check-up. It was a good visit but also a reality check. I saw both my Neurologist and Vascular Neuro-Surg. The Vascular-Neuro-Surg still has no bed-side manner, and does not ever smile, but I trust him fully with my brain. My Neurologist is a lot easier to talk to and is a lot more compassionate. Here is the news. 1. Blood Pressure was 128/72 that is very good for me. 2. My optic nerves are swollen and there is slight spinal fluid in the brain which is typical post brain bleed. This is what has been causing my headaches and extra pressure I have been feeling, but have not shared with anyone up until today. No shunt is required at this time. This is what is causing the high blood pressure they believe. 3. Change of Beta Blocker I now take an extended release beta blocker at night and then 40 to 60 minutes before excercise I have to take 40mg of a beta blocker, which will last for 60 minutes. 4. Neurologist wants me to workout as along as someone is with me and I take my beta blocker. I can do the bike or elipical for 40 to 50 minutes. No weights at the gym I have to continue to do weights with the PT. 5. I will be in Physical Therapy for at least another three months. She will continue to monitor my heart rate, blood pressure, massage my neck, work on balance, and work with me with light weights. 6. My Neurologist and Vascular Neuro-Surg had the talk with me about "brain damage" that the bleed caused. They said that since I had the brain bleed that for sure there was some damage done to my brain and they want the Neuro-Psycholgist to perform cognitive testing. I see her all day July 24th. The day after our anniversary and the day before Zachary's birthday. However, this is good because they will know what gaps they need fill in and what area of the brain they will need to retrain. 7. I can only drink 60 ounces of water a day and no more. They want to control my fluid intake because of the slight extra fluid in my brain. Please pray I pass no kidney stones! 8. I'm on a low sodium diet for fluid reasons. 9. I can still travel to Idaho as long as we stop every hour and take our time. If my head hurts too bad we will turn around and drive home. We will be going through Portland because there are less mountain passes. I also have a load of medication to hopefully prevent me from getting too dizzy and throwing up. Still no flying for me! I also had to promise my Neuro that I would rest a lot in Idaho. How do I feel about all this? I would not wish a brain bleed on my worst enemy, but I feel very thankful to be alive and given the opportunity to watch my children grow. Yes, I spent an extra 20 minutes with my Neurologist crying in his office today. He was a good listener and pointed out all of the gains that I have made since August 31st. I told him I never imagined this recovery taking forever. However, he reminded me that I'm progressing well considering what happened. I'm now taking this all one day at a time, and I have been learning a lot from all of this. How are the classes? The classes are going. I have had a lot of help from Kirk and my best friend Becky in Idaho who is also a teacher. Dr.Piker also wrote for accmodations. The classes are challenging for me, but I'm pulling it off and a lot is coming back to me. I seem to be struggling with my short-term memory so it will be interesting to see what the Neuro -Psy, and the tests reveal.

Perservance

I have a ned bracelet. It is cool! I earned it for always trying. I like it! From Zachary. Today Zachary came home and told us that he earned an award at school for perservance. He got a blue bracelet and a pen. He was so excited about his award! Inspite of everything this year, Zachary has done very well at school. I spent part of the day at school with him yesterday and I could not believe how much progress he has achieved this year. I observed him playing basketball with a group of boys and was surprised to see how social he was around these boys and how many baskets he was able to shoot! I also watched him during his reading group and he read very well and was very mature around the other students. Once again a special thank you to all of the staff and volunteers at Zachary's school. Each of you contributed to Zachary's gains this year and we greatly appreciate your work with our son!

No FEAR

Here is a photo of Isabella going down a large bouncy house slide. As you can see she's having fun does not have a fear of heights or going down the slide super fast! She's my roller coaster child and she does not get it from me!

The Art of Multi-tasking post brain bleed

Here it is May and it dawns on me I need six semester credits in order to renew my teaching cert. by September 1st. I sign up for three classes that I need to have completed by August 8th. I feel like I live on the computer and I now dream of papers and lesson plans. My head hurts and I'm reminded that I have not had to critcally think for the past 9 months! However, I'm amazed by how much information is coming back to me, and I'm slowly but surely able to write papers and earning decent grades. My Physical Therpaist is correct by the time August 31st rolls around I will say that this has been the longest and toughest year of my life!

Our two loves in life cars and crabs!

Viva LA Vida

After Graduation Kirk walked out to Coldplay's song "Viva LA VIDA" playing outside at the Showare Center in Kent.

The Graduation Ceremony

Today Kirk had his Graduation Ceremony. Back in January Kirk completed his Masters of Buisness and today the Ceremony was held. He graduated with Highest Honors. Only two people from his Master's prgram achieved highest honors. The kids and I met his learning team today, and they were wonderful people! They really helped Kirk out during the brain bleed. CONGRATULATIONS KIRK AND DADDY!!!!!

The whole family before Graduation!

All of us after the Ceremony. Tired, Hungry, and ready for rest! However, we would not have missed it and the kiddos were so PROUD!

Isabella's Castle

It was hot and sunny in Seattle today so Bella and I decided to take a drive down to the beach. If you have not all ready figured it out our family loves the ocean and the beach. Once we arrived at the beach one of the local school disricts was out today so there were some other kids at the beach. These older girls loved playing with Bella and they also built her castle which she loved. Bella also wanted crabs so they went and found crabs for her, and Bella built a home for them right next to her castle. They also found a sand dollar for her, which she placed next to her castle.

Isabella was very proud of the home that she created for "her" crabs.

Mother's Day

This has been a beautiful Mother's Day. This year Kirk, Zachary, and Isabella wanted to create a Mother's Day that I would always remember. Each of the gifts that they gave me represented a part of my life. The diamond earrings represent my birth and everlasting life. The picture is to remind me each day to be patient with my recovery and to endure to the end. The DVD was to remind me of my youth and the fun days when I would skip school to spend the day with Kirk. The pink bear was to remind me where I was on August 31st and where I am today. The Angel was to remind me of all of the miracles that have happened to me and all of the people who have loved, supported me, and helped me mother my children during the past nine months. It truly has been one of the best days of my life!

Deception Pass and Oak Harbor

For the pass two days we have been trapped inside since Zachary had a cold. Today we decided to load up the car and go over to Deception Pass and Oak Harbor. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. For those of you out of state Oak Harbor is an island, but you can get to it not only by ferry but also by going over Deception Pass. Below the pass is The Puget Sound. The kiddos loved looking at the rocks and playing in the sand. They were a little disappointed that they did not find starfish or crabs, but they loved the views. Since we were in the area we also took a trip over to Anacortes. We loved looking at the San Juan Islands.