"My Stroke of Insight"

Yesterday I was in Physical Therapy and my therapist handed me a book titled "My Stroke of Insight" and told me that  she would like me to read it because it reminded her of me.  The book is about a thirty-seven year old Harvard-tarined brain scientist who suffered a brain hemorrage.  The book was so excellent that I read it in two hours and could strongly relate to this woman.  The author was able to convey thoughts and feelings that I have also experienced since my brain hemorrage. In her book, she mentions that on December 10, 1996, the old Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor died and now she must embrace her new self because her brain has ever changed.  The same holds true for me, and I now am able to to accept it. This book also offered me a lot of insightful information, and I realized that many of my unspoken and spoken prayers had finally been answered by my Physical Therapist, who shared this book with me.  I needed this book and finally there was someone who was able to understand me and articulate many of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas of my brain bleed through her book.  For those of you who have supported me and continue to support my recovery, I highly recommend that you read this book because it truly explains "Heidi" since the brain hemorrage. Here are some insights that I got from the book.

I need people around me to believe in the plasticity of my brain and its ability to grow, learn, and recover.

I need people to love me not for the person I had been, but for who I might now become.

Always offer me multiple choice questions never ask me yes/no questions. Forced choice demand that I open old files or create new ones.  Yes/ No questions demand no real thought.

Emotional healing is a tediously slow process but well worth the effort.

What a wonderful gift this stroke has been in permitting me to pick and choose who and how I want to be in the world.  Since the hemorrhage my eyes have been opened to how much choice I actually have about what goes on between my ears.

Having taken this unexpected journey into the depths of my brain I am grateful and amazed that I have completely recovered physically, cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually.

To experience peace does not mean that your life is always blissful.  It means that you are capable of tapping into a blissful state of mind amidst the normal chaos of a hectic life.

Trust that I am trying just not with your skill level or on your schedule.

I may want you to think I understand more than I really do.

Trust that my brain can always continue to learn.

Love me for the person I am today. Don't hold me to being the person I was before.  I have a different brain now.

One of the greatest lessons I learned was how to feel the physical component of emotion.

I was a fragile living being and life is a precious gift.

There was sluggishness about my brain.

I have learned so much from this experience with the stroke, that I actually feel fortunate to have taken this journey.

I existed in some remote space that seemed to be far away from my normal information processing and it was clear that the "I" whom I had grown up to be had not survived this neurological catastrophe.

Walking became a very important part of my routine.  When you feel like a fluid it's impossible to know where your physical boundaries begin and end.

This stroke has not only opened my eyes to the beauty and resiliency of the human brain, but also the generosity of the human spirit.

Feeling the warmth of the sunshine upon my face or the kiss of a breeze on my cheek connects me directly with a part of myself that feels at one with all that is.

You and you choose moment by moment who you want to be in the world. I encourage you to pay attention to what is going on in your brain.  Own your power and show up for your life.  Beam Bright!


If you choose read this book I hope you all will find as much insightful information as I have.  Even if you have not experienced a brain bleed there are parts to this book that apply to all of us.  My Physical Therapist suggested that we hold a Celebration of Life on my first year anniversary which will be August 31st.  We plan on having a celebration and will send out more details in the near future. I also want to express my thankfulness to my physical therapist Deinse.  I know that you were met to be a part of my life during this period of my journey.  Thank you for believing in my brain and in me.  What an incredible journey this continues to be!