Today I will have to say I felt very blessed to be alive and spend this Beautiful Day with my Family

We spent another Saturday at the beach. This weekend we went to Seahurst Park. The beach was very rocky, but I was able to balance myself fairly well on all of the rocks! It was about 70 degrees and perfect sunshine. We saw a tremendous amount of sea life including starfish, crabs, an eel, a large boat, and even some ducks. Kirk caught this large crab that you will see a photo of. He's in the yellow bucket and was not thrilled to be caught. Needless to say, a photo of the crab is going in Kirk's office at work with the words under the photo that will read "Are you Crabby today?" The kids liked the starfish it was the first time that they saw starfish at the local beach. We also saw a large ship and had a perfect view of the Olympics. The Northwest is so beautiful and green right now and we are loving it! Enjoy the photos!

Words spoken by Isabella

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to teach Isabella's class at church with my friend Shanda. The lesson was on Adam and Eve. We showed them a painting of Adam and Eve with a tiger in the background. Yesterday I asked Isabella, "Who were the first people here on Earth." Isabella's answer was "Mom Adam and Eve had a pet tiger and he was a friendly pussy cat." "Can we get a tiger for a pet?"

Great Blogs to check out

Oopsey Daisy is a teaching resource. A lot of fun ideas!

NIE NIE is about lady who survived a plane crash and is married and has five children. She has to go through countless operations to repair her skin and face. She resides close to my former home in Utah.

"You must Give up the LIFE you had Planned in order to have the LIFE that is waiting for YOU." Joseph Campbell

Since being able to finally drive again, I have moved back to being a full-time Mommy again. I must say that during the past few weeks this has been a very taxing task, and I have experienced physical hardships that I did not plan on, and I'm finding that I have to take at least one nap a day. The other day, Isabella and I were at "Target" and she wanted to ride in the cart. When I went to lift her in the cart, I quickly discovered that I was unable too and in fact a person, who I knew was walking through the door and she quickly came over and placed Isabella in the cart for me. Another example is the other day, I was in PT and my therapist was working with neck muscles. During this time she noticed that my eyes were extra sensitive and had trouble tracking. I quickly told her that I had not got my sleep that day. She told me that each day I had to rest. I told her that it has been seven and half months since the bleed and I would expect to be back to myself. She had to kindly remind me I was still in recovery.

After experiencing these two circumstances I expressed to Kirk my frustrations. I went into a self-pity mode where I said that this was unfair and young mothers' do not experience strokes. Once again he had to remind me that this happened to me, but I was improving and had come along ways since August 31st, and my future was bright. He also said that nobody can completely understand what I have gone through except myself and my Savior. I thought about that statement and realized that I have been going through a personal sacred experience with my Savior. I thought back to Valentine's Day when I lost my Grandpa, and I felt deep sorrow and I wondered how I was going to get through the day? I had such a hard time not being able to personally say "Good-bye" to my Grandpa, and was angry that I had the brain bleed. I then did the only thing that I could do and I got my knees and and asked for the strength to get through the week. My prayer was answered and I was able to peacefully get through the week. Looking back to that week and previous hard weeks I believe that my Savior knew that I was weary and no longer could carry my burdens alone. I needed him by side and at times to carry me.


The one thing I have been learning from this entire experience, is that you can be the best planner, but life happens when you are busy making other plans. In many ways, the brain bleed continues to enrich my life. I appreciate the simple things in my life such as being able to lift a bag of groceries, reading a novel, playing with my children even if it is for a brief period of time, laughing with my friends, and even my neck heat pack that provides relief from my headaches. Speaking of headaches I love the below quote:


“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Crying is also one of the main contributors to my headaches so my preference is to laugh too. Laughing is some of the best medicine

Thanks again for all of continued support. It has been a long journey, but each week it gets better.

Are U Crabby?

Over the weekend we went down to the beach at Salt Water State Park. Before we went we had to go and purchase a Discovery Pass, which was $35.00 for the year. All I have to say is that we better have nice and clean state parks. Once we arrived to the beach it was low tide so guess what? The kiddos went crab hunting with several other kiddos. They found several baby and adult crabs. Isabella disliked the crabs. Zachary thought that they were neat just so they were not pinching him, and I thought they were a little creepy, but I held two in a shovel and they both were mating. Kirk thought it was funny! When we were setting the crabs free, this other mother came to me and asked if you could take the crabs home? Seriously! is what I thought. I looked at her and said, "no" the crabs need to remain at the beach. Sometimes I wonder about how much common sense people really have? It was a great day!

Snapshots of Bella on her Special Day!

"OH THE PLACES WE WILL GO"

This is the Kabota Garden in Seattle. We love visiting this garden in the spring! The kids love looking at the water and flowers.

Happy Birthday Isabella!!!!

We celebrated Isabella's Birthday last week. She had so much fun and even had two cakes!

AND THE NEWS IS.......

I PASSED! Today I went to Neuro-Rehab for my driving assessment with the Occupational Therapist. The assessment was challenging and six weeks ago I would have failed so I'm thankful that it did not happen until today even though the wait was long. The assessment was two hours long. She tested my eye and hand coordination, muscular strength, my visual perception, visual closure, reaction time, visual fields, my memory, and of course I had to drive a simulated car in all sorts of circumstances. Zachary would have been in pure heaven! However, it was another humbling moment in my recovery and I realized that even though my Neurologist can be ultra-conservative he truly has been closely monitoring my care and wants me to return to my best health. I have been blessed to have him as one of my provider's. At the end of the assessment, my OT reported that I passed and barely with the visual fields. I walked out of Neuro-Rehab and my Speech Therapist, my Neurologist, the ICU team who cared for me, and my family were out there clapping for me. There were many tears and hugs. This was the first major step in my recovery that has been completed. I still have a couple of more steps, but I have some of my freedom back. In a few weeks, I have to see a Neuro-Psychologist for further assessment, but this will only help me if and when I go back to my career. This summer I have to take a University course for my teaching cert. so the assessment will provide me with my needed accommodations. And yes I still can only ride the bike at the gym and only escorted of course! However, I can drive myself to the gym!
Kirk captured some photos One is of the kiddos and I by The Critical Care Unit symbolizing how far I have come since August 31st. A special thank you to all in Neuro Rehab!

Our Cinderella whose almost 4!!!!

I thought I would include a couple of photos of the two Grandpa's. Kirk and I treasure these photos this year.

OUR SUPERMAN

Today Zachary's teacher sent us this e-mail. Followed by a really excited little boy when he came home from school! He's been working really hard and we are excited for him. Congratulations Z-Man!!!!!

"Hi Heidi and Kirk,I just wanted to let you know that Zachary has met his AR goal for this quarter. The quarter actually ends in May and he only needed to be at 40% at this point. He is actually at 145% of the goal! Wow! He has done wonderful. Because he is still having trouble with fluency, I don’t want to raise his level up too much. He was at 0.5-1.5, I’m now raising him to 1.9 which is an end of 1st grade level. I’m hoping this will not be too much of a stretch and will boost his motivation and self- esteem enough to keep him reading. He is reading these tests by himself and passing, so his comprehension is coming right along. I’m very proud of how hard Zachary is working." Kasey

I'm Blessed

I woke up this morning and checked out facebook. I found this that my friend wrote while she was on a trip.

"In San Diego out for a run and ended up in the middle of a Walk for Thought for ...The Brain Damage Association......people of all ages. Thinking of you my friend and shedding some tears as I watch a young couple the same age as you and Kirk, he is holding her as she struggles to learn to walk again. I love you and am grateful for your recovery. Your such a strong soul and an inspiration to others."By: Michelle Jung

My reply to my dear friend is this thanks for helping me become more aware of my blessings in my life since the brain bleed. The other day I complained to my PT about my Neurologist and all of his restrictions that he still has me placed on me. She told me, "Heidi daily a Neurologist has to share with a patient that their life will be cut short, they will not be able to walk again, and many other physical ailments. However, your our miracle patient. Therefore, my dear we want to return you to optiumn health." I'm blessed to have a wonderful medical team! I'm also blessed to have an awesome marriage and wonderful kiddos. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I was unable to walk Kirk would wrap that gait belt around me and hold me up. I also know that you my friend, and many of my other friends would remain by my side even if things would have been worse because your my Sisters and that is what Sisters do for each other. Thank You for the encouraging words I needed to that today!

The Refiner's Fire

It seems like my health issues continue to go on, but my attitude is still trying to remain up. Last Friday, I felt this horrible pain on my stomach and I looked and I had an awful sore. I immediately called my doctor and she instructed me to go to the ER. Let me tell you that was one of my fastest trips to the ER! I got there and since I'm recovering from a brain bleed I got to be seen shortly. One of the benefits of a brain bleed. It turned out to be a staph infection and I'm now on a lot of antibiotics, which are making my stomach not feel so well. I also followed up with my doctor yesterday and we will more than likely switch antibiotics on Thursday. Yippee is what I have to say to about it all! I told my doctor that I might as well have a weekly walk in appointment because I have been a frequent visitor.

Last night I was writing and reading in my journal and I found a passage that I had just written. I read it again it was something I needed to review again. I wrote this past six months have been tough. We do not know what kinds of tragedies that we will face in life, and tragedy happens to good people, who are living the best way that they can. However, one of our purpose's of this mortal journey is to become refined. I have been learning to walk through my fires and relying upon the Lord to help me. The recovery of the brain bleed has been rough, losing my Grandpa has been heart breaking, and now infection. However, Marion D. Hanks wrote, " There is no chance, no fate, no destiny, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." Determination and resilience is what I have. I either can wallow in it all or I can stand up and let it all refine me. I'm stiil excited about the future! I still believe that this is going to be an awesome year for our family! I'm grateful for my trials and I look at how much I have grown from this, and the wealth of wisdom it has provided me.

Doctor Update

I saw my Internal Med doctor yesterday and she decreased the dose of my beta blocker; however, today I have experienced some bad headaches so I think we may have to try some other beta blocker. The headaches have been one of the worst side-effects of the bleed; however, I'm thankful that I'm alive and doing well. The other day my Speech Therapist invited me to speak at the hospital's Stroke Club group about my stroke and my recovery process. I told her that I'm not sure if I want to do this because I would have to speak on my Birthday in front of several stroke survivors, doctors, therapists, and all of their families. The other thing is it is very challenging for me to verbalize my story because it is still painful for me. I spoke to my Internal Med doc about it yesterday and she said that she would be there to support me and I know my husband and many of my friends would attend but I just do not know if I'm ready or if I'll ever be ready? I think I need some time to think before I respond to this request. However, on an exciting note I go in for my Driver's Eval in three weeks. The count down is on. I'm already thinking and planning on where I'll drive the car to once I get my license back.

Check out my Bunny Ears!

We were on our way out the other day and Isabella insisted on wearing her favorite bunny ears! You can tell she was super happy!

News from Neuro-Rehab

Today I was in Speech Therapy and I kicked butt with my cognitive exercises! I could not believe how quickly I could process the information! I'm finally starting to feel my abilities gradually returning to me, and in fact, I feel stronger and smarter prior to the brain bleed. A couple of weeks ago my friend came over to cut my hair and we were talking and she told me that she has seen improvement in my cognitive skills and my ability to balance myself compared to January. Inspite of all of the grief and sorrow the past month my body continued to heal. On a spiritual side of things when my Grandpa was dying I was talking to my Aunt Chris, and she asked me if I wanted her to say anything to my Grandpa for me? I told her to please let him know, that "I loved him and inspite of what was going on that I would go to Speech and my other therapies and continue to progress." It is amazing that since February 14th many improvements have happened. I cannot help but not think that my Grandpa is still right here for me cheering me on." I see internal med later this week in regards to my low heart rate I'll update later.

"There You'll Be" by Faith Hill

I love this song playing on the blog because it speaks the feelings that I have for my Grandpa and Grandma Fry. It now has been three weeks since I received the call that my Grandfather would soon return home. Febuary 13th and 14th were rough days and my Grandfather is still fresh in my heart. There has not been a day that has gone by that I have not thought of him and everything that he has done for me. Oh, Grandpa how I wish I could have talked to you and hugged you one last time, but I may not have physically been there to hold your hand as you passed, but I know for sure that my spirit was there when you left to return home. I know that you are in peace and enjoying many happy reunions. You will always be a part of my heart and I'll carry you throughout my life. I dearly love and miss you! Thanks for always being right there for me.

"When I grow up Mom I'm going to be You." Words by Isabella

Holy Moly! Our kids consistently are watching us and whether we are setting either a positive or negative example for them. When those words slipped out of Isabella's mouth I questioned myself and wondered what example am I setting daily for my daughter? As many of you know I love reading articles from Erin Stewart and I came across a quote in a article written by her and the quote is from Ezra Taft Benson it reads, “take time to always be at the crossroads when your children are either coming or going — when they leave and return from school, when they leave and return from dates, when they bring friends home. Be there at the crossroads whether your children are 6 or 16.” I thought even though it may sound simple how important it is for mothers to be there for their children. I'm sure some day Zachary and Isabella are going to become annoyed with me , but I feel a sense of responsibility to love, support, encourage, and be there for them. I truly need to know who my children are so I can be the best example for them. What an incredible gift I have been given!

Promises of Spring

I'm so excited that March is here! February was a long and difficult month for our family, but March is here and is promising to bring some much needed happiness and excitement!

Kirk: He was accepted into The National Honor Society and we are very pleased and happy about this situation. Even Though he is graduated, his Graduation ceremony is in May at the ShoWare Center. He is very excited about the future.

Heidi: I go in for my Driver's Eval. March 30th with the OT at the Neuro-Rehab. We will see how that turns out, but it is a step in the right direction. My EKG came back abnormal the other day, but my doctors are working on adjusting and possibly switching medications. My heart rate is too low, which is caused by my the beta blockers, but I'm confident that this problem will get corrected. I now know why I have been cold and super tired.

Zachary: He's doing well in school. His teacher has been gone a lot because she has been dealing with a family emergency. However, we were just introduced to one of Zachary's doctor's friends who volunteers at Zachary's school. She has volunteered to work with Zachary once a week, which will be awesome for him since I have been unable to volunteer at the school.

Isabella: She's getting ready to take ballet and has enjoyed being at home with me and our friends. She's going to be four in April. Time flies by! She is super excited for her Birthday and she calls herself "Princess Isabella" right now. She loves Cinderella!