Photos of the Coast

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away..."

In honor of celebrating life, we choose to celebrate it early and together as a couple. August 31st will mark the one year anniversary of what I like to call our "Beautiful Heartbreak" Even though the brain bleed was rough, during the past year, we have experienced moments that I have taken our breath away. We would like to share some of these moments and while some of these moments may seem small they have been true large moments for our family.




1. Meeting Dr. Peter Boulski Even though he firmly told me my condition could be "fatal" he was very smart and my brain was in good hands.

2. The ICU Nurses were wonderful and even though I could not get out of bed they found away to wash my hair and helped me feel half human again.

3. Holding my cousin's new baby a week after I came home from the hospital.

4. All of the many people who helped us and brought in meals, took care of our children, took care of me, and helped Kirk complete is Master's degree

5. Meeting Dr. Piker who brought relief to my headaches.

6. Meeting and still working with all of my therapists, and the progress that they have helped me make and continue to make.

7. Grandpa Walker passing away and Kirk leaving for Idaho and the kids and I staying at my friend Laura's house.

8. Kirk's Graduation

9. My Grandpa passing away on Valentine's Day. My heart truly broke that day and I miss him every day.

10. Passing my Driver's assesment with the OT.

11. Being alive to celebrate Isabella's 4th Birthday

12. Celebrating Mother's Day

13. Being alive to celebrate and attend Zachary's 8th Birthday and Baptism.

14. Learning about the cognitive damage my brain bleed caused and what to do about it.

15. Going to the gym.

16. Going to the beach with my children and having fun.

17. Watching Zachary swim for the first time.

18. Losing my Aunt Ellen and my Great-Aunt Beth

19. Reading and being able to relate to the lady who wrote the book "My Stroke of Insight"

20. Feeling my left side get a little bit stronger each month and my brain a little more sharper each month.

21. Getting to love and embrace my new brain and life!

Views from Alki Beach

This is why I love the Seattle area!

Only in Seattle

Kirk and I were on a date in Seattle the other night and look what we saw! We had to take a photo of the car for Zach. He was very impressed. What an artistic car!

The Olympic Pool

The kids took swimming lessons at the place where they held the Olympic try outs for diving. Here are photos of them with their swim teacher Taylor in the OLympic pool. They were the only two kiddos to go swimming over there with Taylor. Since the water was about 17.5 feet deep, they wore life jackets.

Test Results

I got my test results back from the Neuropsychlogist today. She started off by telling me that I did well in most areas, and I was intelligent. Always nice to hear after they have used the word "brain damage" in various appointments! However, the brain is very complex and I'm learning something new weekly about my brain. The area that I have a problem in is attention. The testing revealed that I have difficulty in the "frontally-mediated aspects of cognition" This includes sustained attention, speed of informatin processing, sequencing, inhibition, and novel problem solving. These problems are typical for me to have since my brain bleed was in the midbrain close to the brain stem, and there are several canals that help fire all of this stuff off. Bottom line the problems are similar to a person who has ADHD/ADD.

Here is the plan:

1. Weekly cognitive rehabilitation therapy for as long as possible to help improve sustained attention, mental organization, and executive functions of the brain. A psychlogist and speech-language therapist will do this. Thankfully both are in place and the psychlogist who I see works closely with children and adults who have ADD/ADHD. Once again I saw God's hand in my life! I feel very blessed that I do not have to go out and find the right psychlogist and speech therapist.

2. They will also work on the emotional distress this whole event caused. The recovery is a roller-coaster ride, and the bleed has changed a lot of life dynamics. The biggest hurdle is personally as well as my family adapting and embracing my new brain. It takes a lot of time and patience. Kirk and I now have a quiet spot near a local lake that we go to and just sit down and reflect. Often times in life and death situations you live moment to moment and you do not have time to stop and reflect about what happened because you are just trying to get through the day. Now close to a year we are realizing what happened and how it has impacted us as family for the good and the bad, and it is important for us to talk about it and process. We also recognize and are grateful for what could have happened, but did not.

3. Physical Therapy will continue as well. Evidently the bleed impacted my neck so there is more therapy that needs to be done.

4. I will have eight to ten hours of sleep a night plus a 2 hour nap once a day. "The Napping House" as Isabella has coined it will remain in place.

5. Various accomodations will be added to my life. Dr. Lundy will help me in this area. The Neuro-Psy has given me a list of 15 accomadations.

6. Last but not least time will continue to fly by for me I now have speech, PT, psychlogy, a neurologist, and a internal med doctor. I'm planning on an average of four appointments a week.

The Neuro-Psy has given me another year for my brain to continue to make progress and by next year the brain goes into a flat line so I need to make the most of it in the next 12 months. Not to say that after this I cannot continue to progress it will just be a lot more challenging.

Will update and report all of the therapies progress!

Dash Point Beach

Today the kids and I went to a beach that was near the elementary school that I used to teach at. It was a very pretty day and the beach was quiet today. The kiddos loved running through the water and playing in the sand. When we came home, the kiddos were very sandy so they had early baths, and hopefully an early bedtime tonight!

Classes Complete

I'm so excited my classes for my teaching cert. are complete! However, the classes were a great excercise for my brain so I'm taking another class this fall. To all of my teacher friends I have a really awesome reading assesment that one of my classmate's uses in her classroom if you would like a copy shoot me an e-mail.

Preparing for the 31st of August

Kirk and I have recently been talking about the upcoming anniversary of the brain bleed. Yesterday we were looking through the blog and discovered the post I wrote 9 hours before the brain bleed. The post I wrote on August 31, 2011, is below this post. We read it together and talked about it. It is amazing how quickly in a blink of an eye life can change! As we were reading the post, Kirk mentioned to me how he marveled at how much I had made preparations for Zachary and his upcoming school year. Everything was neatly in place for him. I also shared with Kirk that during the previous two weeks before the bleed Zachary had expressed to me his anxiety about starting school. I confidently reassured him that he was never alone and that he had a Father in Heaven who was always with him. Today I know that I was inspired before the bleed to make preparations and testify to Zachary that there is a Heavenly Father who loves us and is always with us. God's hand was truly in my life last August and especially on August 31st. I also did not find it ironic that my cousin, Jeni, who is a Psychlogist, was in an airplane that night and was flying from Alaska to Seattle to live here. If anyone in my family would have a grasp on what was going on it would be her. She shared with me that while she was flying information about what had happened to me was popping up all over facebook and she was reading it on her phone. However, because of her background she would be the one to remain calm and steady.

Since last August, I cannot even explain how much my life and my family's life has changed. Truly, I'm still embracing my new brain and my family and friends are also embracing the new Heidi. I'm not going to lie this whole thing has been a huge hurdle for me and my family. There are days when I struggle with depression, and wonder why did this event happen? However, in my moments of feeling low, I know that I'm being carried and I'm reminded that I'm married to an incredible, hard- working, loyal, and dedicated spouse. I also have two great high energy children who bring life back into me. Recently I have also been learning how to take little breaks and rest my brain. One thing about having a bleed is the brain demands rest even if it is only for a short moment of time. Recently I read the story called "The Napping House" to Isabella. I gently reminded her and Zachary that at 1:30 every day we have a "napping house" and it has been working. I see the Neuro-Psy this Thursday and I will post about the visit.

The post I wrote 9 hours before the brain bleed

Fun and exciting times are happening at the Walker's. Zachary begins first grade tomorrow. He will actually be in a first and second grade spilt classroom so that way he can do second grade math, and yet get extra help with his writing and reading. He is also thrilled that one of his Kindergarten buddies will be in his class too. Kirk and I are also excited about this because I have become good friends with this child's mother and she is very fond of Zachary and provides him with great support at school. Zachary's new teacher has also sent us a couple of e-mails and I believe that she will be a good fit for Zachary. She informed us that she will be a great advocate for Zachary and has had one of her own children and two of her grandchildren, who have been on IEPs and 504s and as a result she said that she understands our fears, struggles, challenges, joys, and concerns in ways that other parents and teachers may not. This has brought a since of relief to us because even though Zachary no longer requires an IEP he will have a 504, and as his team of doctors have said he still needs to be closely monitored, and still has specific needs. We have been fortunate that Zachary has had great teachers the past two years. We are looking foreward to working with his new teacher Ms. Clay.

On another brighter note, Kirk earned another A in his MBA program and he is now down to two more classes. Several opportunties have also been opening up for Kirk so as we check into these opportunties and make decisions we will keep you all posted.

Finally, I'm happy to announce that my cousin Jeni and her family will be moving here tomorrow from Alaska. Zachary and Isabella are really excited to have some cousins live close by. Jeni and I have been chatting back and forth on e-mail and we both said that this will be neat for our children because none of them have had cousins live so close by before. I think we may both feel this way because growing up we both had the opportunity to live near each other and other cousins and we would get together and play at our Grandparent's home during holidays and birthdays. I also have to admit that I'm personally excited to hold her new baby girl that she had a couple of weeks ago!

It has been a busy but fun week for all of us!

Posted by Heidi or Kirk Sunshine in Seattle at 10:06 AM

Buckets of Fun

Zach loves this!

We have Swimmer

Today Zachary took off in the water all by himself. He did a front float, a torpeado swim, front stroke with his arms, and any other type of swim. When we started swim lessons six weeks ago he was very nervous, but today he surprised us all and took off! He did not want to leave the water and is now begging me to take him again tonight. His teacher Taylor was so excited! I was able to capture most of his swimming with the camera. I also took some of Miss Isabella. She is also doing well and putting her face more in the water. She has not jumped into any more deep water. Instead she is my social butterfly talking away to everyone in her swimming class!

Denny Creek

We went up and had a picnic and did some hiking around the Denny Creek area. It was pretty, but very hot weather.

Zachary's Baptism

On August 4, 2012, Zachary became a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. In our church, children who are 8 years old have the opportunity to be baptized. This was a special day for Zachary and our family. On Saturday Zachary was the only child from our ward to be baptized. The other ward had four little girls who were also baptized too. Zachary was so pleased to be the only boy and the first one to be baptized on that day. He also had a nice crowd of people come and support him. Here are some photos

More Birthday

We went down to Tacoma and had lunch at Anthony's. Both kiddos had fish. They love eating there!

It's GREAT TO BE 8!

Zachary had a great 8th birthday celebration! He wanted to go to the beach so we went together as a family. It was a fun day!