Preparing for the 31st of August

Kirk and I have recently been talking about the upcoming anniversary of the brain bleed. Yesterday we were looking through the blog and discovered the post I wrote 9 hours before the brain bleed. The post I wrote on August 31, 2011, is below this post. We read it together and talked about it. It is amazing how quickly in a blink of an eye life can change! As we were reading the post, Kirk mentioned to me how he marveled at how much I had made preparations for Zachary and his upcoming school year. Everything was neatly in place for him. I also shared with Kirk that during the previous two weeks before the bleed Zachary had expressed to me his anxiety about starting school. I confidently reassured him that he was never alone and that he had a Father in Heaven who was always with him. Today I know that I was inspired before the bleed to make preparations and testify to Zachary that there is a Heavenly Father who loves us and is always with us. God's hand was truly in my life last August and especially on August 31st. I also did not find it ironic that my cousin, Jeni, who is a Psychlogist, was in an airplane that night and was flying from Alaska to Seattle to live here. If anyone in my family would have a grasp on what was going on it would be her. She shared with me that while she was flying information about what had happened to me was popping up all over facebook and she was reading it on her phone. However, because of her background she would be the one to remain calm and steady.

Since last August, I cannot even explain how much my life and my family's life has changed. Truly, I'm still embracing my new brain and my family and friends are also embracing the new Heidi. I'm not going to lie this whole thing has been a huge hurdle for me and my family. There are days when I struggle with depression, and wonder why did this event happen? However, in my moments of feeling low, I know that I'm being carried and I'm reminded that I'm married to an incredible, hard- working, loyal, and dedicated spouse. I also have two great high energy children who bring life back into me. Recently I have also been learning how to take little breaks and rest my brain. One thing about having a bleed is the brain demands rest even if it is only for a short moment of time. Recently I read the story called "The Napping House" to Isabella. I gently reminded her and Zachary that at 1:30 every day we have a "napping house" and it has been working. I see the Neuro-Psy this Thursday and I will post about the visit.