Look what Kirk brought home from Home Depot! I'm so excited that I have a large rug for my living room, and look who also helped to bring it out. When they decide to work they actually work well together!
every trial in my life has brought me to THIS place.....a place where nothing is perfect but everything is great. i wouldn't change a thing. OK MAYBE A FEW THINGS!!!!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
The New Rug for the Living Room
Look what Kirk brought home from Home Depot! I'm so excited that I have a large rug for my living room, and look who also helped to bring it out. When they decide to work they actually work well together!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Great Quote
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melody Beattie..
I saw this quote and really liked it. Considering November has been a stormy month not only for myself, but for many this brings it all into full circle. I know this past couple of weeks have been challenging for many of our family members and friends. Many of them have suffered illnesses, injuries, and loss of a loved one. I do not remember a November that has been so stormy! However, our family is thankful to know each of you, and our family has been blessed during these past few months. Happy Thanksgiving
I saw this quote and really liked it. Considering November has been a stormy month not only for myself, but for many this brings it all into full circle. I know this past couple of weeks have been challenging for many of our family members and friends. Many of them have suffered illnesses, injuries, and loss of a loved one. I do not remember a November that has been so stormy! However, our family is thankful to know each of you, and our family has been blessed during these past few months. Happy Thanksgiving
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Our Beautiful Heartbreak
I decided that I'm going to start to refer to the brain bleed as "our beautiful heartbreak" As you listen to the song "Beautiful Heartbreak" playing on the blog you will hear the words about trials and triumphs, and the wonderful view that our trials can create in our lives.
Today I saw Dr. Piker my Neurologist. It was a good but also a tearful visit. We discussed my eye muscles and how the stroke made them weak and damaged some of the nerves. He said that I will be doing therapy for my eyes, but we do not know how or when this will heal. This is a typical problem because the stroke took place deep in my mid-brain near the brain stem. So what does this mean for our family? I cannot drive and restrictions remain the same. We also discussed my dizzy spells, which sometimes are scary. He said that this may or may not go away. he told me I may have to learn to live with dizzy spells and remain on medication possibly for life. The physical therapist will continue to do vestibular therapy to help my body adapt to feeling dizzy at times. This is also common since the bleed was in the midbrain near the brain stem. He also changed my medication for the headaches and inflammation around the brain. We went to the pharmacy and the new medication cost 162.00 dollars after insurance. If this works we will be doing a 90 day supply.
Now for our beautiful heartbreak piece. We have felt blessed as a family. This has been a mountain that we have had to climb together, but we have seen many great views along our path. Many people have been supportive by offering words of encouragement, hope and strength. We have been getting the opportunity to meet several people, and to see all of their great qualities. We have truly appreciated all of our friends who have stood by our side and have offered their support by sending cards, gifts, e-mails, visits, and phone calls. We have also felt everyone's prayers, and have seen miracles during his recovery process. I think the greatest miracle that we have seen is the gift of life, which is a miraculous view. I think about daily how life would be if my children did not have their mother or Kirk did not have his wife. Kirk and I have had many discussions about this and we both agree that we can live with damaged eye muscles and possibly feeling dizzy the rest of my life. We can also live with paying large prescription and doctor bills as long as it is providing us with a good quality of life. As I have said before the stroke sucked, but now I would not change it because of the views that my family and I get to see as we climb this mountain. We appreciate all of the continued prayers for a full recovery, and I feel them. I have days when I break down and cry and feel like I cannot carry this burden any longer, but then I think about the "small views" that I have seen thus far and I'm grateful for the gift of life. My next neuro appointment is in a month. We will keep everyone updated as our climb continues. Thanks for all of your love and support.
Today I saw Dr. Piker my Neurologist. It was a good but also a tearful visit. We discussed my eye muscles and how the stroke made them weak and damaged some of the nerves. He said that I will be doing therapy for my eyes, but we do not know how or when this will heal. This is a typical problem because the stroke took place deep in my mid-brain near the brain stem. So what does this mean for our family? I cannot drive and restrictions remain the same. We also discussed my dizzy spells, which sometimes are scary. He said that this may or may not go away. he told me I may have to learn to live with dizzy spells and remain on medication possibly for life. The physical therapist will continue to do vestibular therapy to help my body adapt to feeling dizzy at times. This is also common since the bleed was in the midbrain near the brain stem. He also changed my medication for the headaches and inflammation around the brain. We went to the pharmacy and the new medication cost 162.00 dollars after insurance. If this works we will be doing a 90 day supply.
Now for our beautiful heartbreak piece. We have felt blessed as a family. This has been a mountain that we have had to climb together, but we have seen many great views along our path. Many people have been supportive by offering words of encouragement, hope and strength. We have been getting the opportunity to meet several people, and to see all of their great qualities. We have truly appreciated all of our friends who have stood by our side and have offered their support by sending cards, gifts, e-mails, visits, and phone calls. We have also felt everyone's prayers, and have seen miracles during his recovery process. I think the greatest miracle that we have seen is the gift of life, which is a miraculous view. I think about daily how life would be if my children did not have their mother or Kirk did not have his wife. Kirk and I have had many discussions about this and we both agree that we can live with damaged eye muscles and possibly feeling dizzy the rest of my life. We can also live with paying large prescription and doctor bills as long as it is providing us with a good quality of life. As I have said before the stroke sucked, but now I would not change it because of the views that my family and I get to see as we climb this mountain. We appreciate all of the continued prayers for a full recovery, and I feel them. I have days when I break down and cry and feel like I cannot carry this burden any longer, but then I think about the "small views" that I have seen thus far and I'm grateful for the gift of life. My next neuro appointment is in a month. We will keep everyone updated as our climb continues. Thanks for all of your love and support.
A good friend
Here is a photo of our friend Shaunna with Zachary and Isabella. They kiddos gave her a gift last week and they were so excited to give it to her that I had to get a photo of her with them. She has been a wonderful friend to us in Washington, and we have truly appreciated all of her time service that she has rendered to our family.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
I'm Sure Santa is going to Like Me! Words spoken by Isabella
What an adorable photo of the two of them!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
HALLOWEEN FUN
Here are some photos from Halloween. We got some cute pictures with Snow White and Isabella and we captured a photo of me and one of my 12 year old students that I have taught in Sunday School. I have not seen this student since this event so everyone wanted to get a photo of the two of us. As you can see Zachary was a Transformer and Isabella was Little Red Riding Hood. They also had fun with their little friends.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Happy Fall Time at The Walker's
I know that it has only been a week since we updated the blog, but today we were invited to go over to The Smith Family home so the kiddos could play in the leaves and we could take some fall photos. We really were able to capture some great shots. As far as an update on me, I wrote a post about my 8 week Anniversary in the blog. The recovery is still going to take more time. Some days are challenging while others are rewarding, but I appreciate all of the continued prayers and support. Today illustrates a very happy day for me! Thank you to the Smith Family for inviting us over and taking beautiful photos of our family. Enjoy everyone!
Being Buried ALIVE !
As you can see we were being buried alive in the leaves. Check out those cute little pink boots. AND YES TO MY DOCTORS I STILL FOLLOWED MY RESTRICTIONS!
Fall Fun!!!!
The kids loved playing in the leaves. There was a cute little baby black cat that was hanging out. Isabella loved him.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Bitter-sweet Day My 8 week Anniversary
I'm really tired tonight, but I thought that I would write about this day before my memory relapsed, and it seems to help me to write and it is easier for me then telling people because if I had to verbally tell you I would begin to cry.
Today has been a big day! I went in for my Physical Therapy appointment and my therapist said, "Heidi it has been 8 weeks since the stroke and today is the first evaluation of where we are going to check and see what damage the stroke has done." My therapist along with a stroke specialist started the evaluation and lets just say that it was challenging and a very real reality check. So here is the damage and what I will be working on for at least the next following months.
1. The left side it is not worse and it is not any better. This is typical in this stage of the recovery, but I will continue to ride the bike at the gym and will have extensive range of motion and exercises at PT. Let me tell you having one side of your body feel numb an weak at times is a very strange feeling.
2. The stroke effected my eye muscles my tracking is poorly off and it is difficult for me to focus on one object. In fact during eye exercises, I experience double vision. So what does this mean for me? No driving until at the earliest at the New Year possibly longer or a maybe a little shorter. This was the biggest surprise of them all. Who thinks about a stroke effecting eye movement? This is huge.
3. They will continue on working with my balance and coordination there has been improvement in this area.
4. There will also be a lot of work done on my neck muscles since they are in knots, which partly contributes to my headaches.
Lets just say I think there is an order to work on almost every body part. I'll be at PT forever!
The stroke specialist told me that one thing a stroke teaches you is to never take for grant it your body or all of its functions including small eye muscles. Those eye muscles can really effect one's life. However, I have heard of several people who have lost loved ones from a stroke or have loved ones who cannot walk or talk. How grateful I am to have my life. However, I'm going to be honest this has been one of the hardest trial's of my life both physically and emotionally. After all eight weeks ago tonight I was sent ICU and told I could "die." This has been an everlasting life changing event. I appreciate all of the prayers on my behalf. I know that one of these days I will make a full recovery.
Today has been a big day! I went in for my Physical Therapy appointment and my therapist said, "Heidi it has been 8 weeks since the stroke and today is the first evaluation of where we are going to check and see what damage the stroke has done." My therapist along with a stroke specialist started the evaluation and lets just say that it was challenging and a very real reality check. So here is the damage and what I will be working on for at least the next following months.
1. The left side it is not worse and it is not any better. This is typical in this stage of the recovery, but I will continue to ride the bike at the gym and will have extensive range of motion and exercises at PT. Let me tell you having one side of your body feel numb an weak at times is a very strange feeling.
2. The stroke effected my eye muscles my tracking is poorly off and it is difficult for me to focus on one object. In fact during eye exercises, I experience double vision. So what does this mean for me? No driving until at the earliest at the New Year possibly longer or a maybe a little shorter. This was the biggest surprise of them all. Who thinks about a stroke effecting eye movement? This is huge.
3. They will continue on working with my balance and coordination there has been improvement in this area.
4. There will also be a lot of work done on my neck muscles since they are in knots, which partly contributes to my headaches.
Lets just say I think there is an order to work on almost every body part. I'll be at PT forever!
The stroke specialist told me that one thing a stroke teaches you is to never take for grant it your body or all of its functions including small eye muscles. Those eye muscles can really effect one's life. However, I have heard of several people who have lost loved ones from a stroke or have loved ones who cannot walk or talk. How grateful I am to have my life. However, I'm going to be honest this has been one of the hardest trial's of my life both physically and emotionally. After all eight weeks ago tonight I was sent ICU and told I could "die." This has been an everlasting life changing event. I appreciate all of the prayers on my behalf. I know that one of these days I will make a full recovery.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
The Napping House
There is a cute children's story called "The Napping House." Today Isabella and I created the napping house. Earlier in the morning we went to the gym so I could ride the bike. After riding the bike for about 20 minutes, I got off felt dizzy and 15 minutes later one of my bad headaches came on so Kirk drove us home and I took some of Neuro meds that help with headaches and Isabella and I laid down for a long nap. This is a photo of us after our nap. Clearly the headache is gone for now. Hooray!
Internal Medicine Doc Update
Today I went in and saw my regular doctor. She has been seeing me every couple of weeks or so since the brain bleed. Here is the update:
1. Still no bending my head down or lifting greater then 15lbs.
2. Still no flying in airplanes or going over any mountain passes.
3. Still no driving.
4. Supervised biking at the gym is still ok for no longer then 20 minutes.
5. Blood Pressure was a little high so mid-day naps for at least 2 hours per day.
6. Nerve Testing for my left side of my body may done in a few weeks. Neuro will order that test.
7. I will also have a large panal of blood work done next week.
8. Still in Physical and Occupational Therapy. This will go on for a while.
9. I see my doctor again November 1st and the Neurologist November 10th
We will continue to keep everyone updated. We have also been keeping the ringer off the phone so the best method to reach us is by e-mail or facebook. I also apologize that I have not returned phone calls in a timely manner, but I promise that I will eventually call you back.
1. Still no bending my head down or lifting greater then 15lbs.
2. Still no flying in airplanes or going over any mountain passes.
3. Still no driving.
4. Supervised biking at the gym is still ok for no longer then 20 minutes.
5. Blood Pressure was a little high so mid-day naps for at least 2 hours per day.
6. Nerve Testing for my left side of my body may done in a few weeks. Neuro will order that test.
7. I will also have a large panal of blood work done next week.
8. Still in Physical and Occupational Therapy. This will go on for a while.
9. I see my doctor again November 1st and the Neurologist November 10th
We will continue to keep everyone updated. We have also been keeping the ringer off the phone so the best method to reach us is by e-mail or facebook. I also apologize that I have not returned phone calls in a timely manner, but I promise that I will eventually call you back.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Today! I'm Lovin my 3 year old Life
I'm sitting on Mom and Dad's bed sucking on a purple sucker and watching "The Berenstain Bears" Mom is trying to talk me into taking a nap with her, but I really do not want too. Instead I'm just going to enjoy my show, my sucker, and the wonderful friends who come to our home each day and spoil me with treats and fun!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Things that bring me JOY right now!!
A friend of mine challenged a bunch of us to write about things that bring Joy into our lives on our blogs so here is my list!
1. My husband who has fully loved and supported me during this time. I hate to tell the rest of you girls, but I think my husband ROCKS!
2. Zachary and Isabella they are the best and I do not need to say anything else!
3. My extended family and my wonderful friends. You do not know how much I love and appreciate each and everyone of you. I do not know how I'm going to repay you all for all of the love, support, and service that you have provided and continue to provide, but I promise I will pay it foreward in the future.
4. My Faith. If I did not have my Faith I would be lost. I truly love my Savior.
5. Even though my medication makes me sleepy ,and by the way my Neurologist adjusted my dose today, I love my medication right now that provides me relief from headaches!
6. The bike at LA Fitness. Even though I cannot ride it for very long and someone has to be standing next to me it feels awesome to be moving right now even if it is for just a few minutes.
7. Car rides that so many of you have been willing to take me on since I cannot drive right now.
8. My warm and heavy levi quilt that used to be Kirk's but it is now mine. This quilt has been with me since the ICU days and continues to be with me each night.
9. Guided Imagery C.D.'s that help me relax.
10. My friends, who make me laugh, and you know who you are!
11. Great food and we have all enjoyed some really awesome food lately.
12. As weird as it sounds my doctors and my therapists who consistently make sure I have the best care so eventually I can make a full recovery and fully enjoy my life once again.
13. Books! It is so nice to get lost in a great book.
14. Music! I love kicking back and listening to music.
15. My Life! The stroke sucked, but I'm so happy to be alive so I can still enjoy my family and friends.
1. My husband who has fully loved and supported me during this time. I hate to tell the rest of you girls, but I think my husband ROCKS!
2. Zachary and Isabella they are the best and I do not need to say anything else!
3. My extended family and my wonderful friends. You do not know how much I love and appreciate each and everyone of you. I do not know how I'm going to repay you all for all of the love, support, and service that you have provided and continue to provide, but I promise I will pay it foreward in the future.
4. My Faith. If I did not have my Faith I would be lost. I truly love my Savior.
5. Even though my medication makes me sleepy ,and by the way my Neurologist adjusted my dose today, I love my medication right now that provides me relief from headaches!
6. The bike at LA Fitness. Even though I cannot ride it for very long and someone has to be standing next to me it feels awesome to be moving right now even if it is for just a few minutes.
7. Car rides that so many of you have been willing to take me on since I cannot drive right now.
8. My warm and heavy levi quilt that used to be Kirk's but it is now mine. This quilt has been with me since the ICU days and continues to be with me each night.
9. Guided Imagery C.D.'s that help me relax.
10. My friends, who make me laugh, and you know who you are!
11. Great food and we have all enjoyed some really awesome food lately.
12. As weird as it sounds my doctors and my therapists who consistently make sure I have the best care so eventually I can make a full recovery and fully enjoy my life once again.
13. Books! It is so nice to get lost in a great book.
14. Music! I love kicking back and listening to music.
15. My Life! The stroke sucked, but I'm so happy to be alive so I can still enjoy my family and friends.
No more Bleeding on the Brain!!!!
I would guess that not many people would get excited about CT scan images, but I do! This year I have viewed several images of my brain and I have been learning a lot. This image is awesome because it is the first image of no bleed on the brain. However, I still have inflammation around the brain, but at least no bleeding so this is a huge celebration!
The Creepy Halloween Glove
Today my friend Cindy came over to help me out with Isabella. She brought over this plastic glove filled with popcorn and red m&m's for the fingernails. Isabella loves popcorn and of course candy so she thought it was awesome!
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