I looked back at my post from last Wednesday hours before I would suffer a brain bleed (Stroke) and be placed in the ICU for four days wondering if I was going to be alive to see my son's First grade year and watch Isabella grow. Well tonight I'm writing so I'm still alive and looking ahead to my long recovery journey.
Kirk and my family and friends kept many of you updated on facebook, and so many of you are aware of the story, but for those of you who are not here it is. After I post the story, I do not care to share it again, but instead focus on my recovery journey. The story is painful and tearful for me and my family, but I'm so tired of telling people over and over again the story so here it is. I also would love to thank each of you for all of your love and support. I know this was very shocking for us as well as you. I know that I will be dealing with my feelings for along time. Please also be patient when you read this. I'm still suffering from headaches, and low body aches. I also feel that my brain is not as fast as it used to be but that will recover in time. I know for certainty that Christ is carrying me now and will see this with me to the end.
The night of August 31st I was outside speaking to my neighbor when all of the sudden the worst headache came over me. I also started throwing up and felt very dizzy. I did not want to scare my neighbor so I excused myself and told her that I had to go home. While walking home I started to lose my balance and quickly laid myself on the grass. My neighbor saw me and called 911. I was taken to the hospital where they ran two CT scans and discovered a brain bleed I was quickly taken up to ICU and was sadated. The vascular neuro-surgeon ran tests and determined that my bleed was caused by a Perimesencephalic hemorrage. This hemorrage is really rare and they do not know what causes it; however, I did not have to have brain surgery because the hemorrage will decrease over time and I will experience painful headaches for weeks. This is also a form of a stroke because it is a brain bleed and is 50 percent of the time fatal. Thankfully my body was in good condition todeal with all of the procedures and I was in the hospital for five days. It effected my coordination on my left side and I'm very sore from the waist down which is neurologic. I will be seeing my internal medicince doctor every two weeks, physical therapy three times a week, and a neurologist to help me cope with the painful headaches. Currently I'm unable to bend over, lift beyond 10lbs, and no straining. My body hurts so bad that I have trouble sleeping but my doctor yesterday prescribed some good drugs for me. There was no way that I saw this brain bleed coming it just all of the sudden happened. The neuro-surgeon told me I should feel lucky that I can still swallow because his last patient ended up with a feeding tube for life.
This whole thing has been both physcially painful and emotionally scary. Kirk and I feel like we have not processed it all but it will take along time. I ask you as my friend and family members to please be patient with me, and if I do not feel like going out and doing an activity with you or even talking it is because I'm physically and emotionally spent. I just need time and right now there are a team of professionals who are helping us. Please also continue to pray for us. Your prayers have been felt. I have also enjoyed all of the e-mails, calls, flowers, meals, and visits. I truly know that I'm loved. I will also in the upcoming months still need my cheerleaders cheering me on. As many of you know, I'm active so this is going to be difficult, but I know at the end of this joourney I will be happy and learned some more life lessons. I also ask each of you since I'm not able to do a lot with my children to please give them a hug and extra attention. It was very devasting for me to miss Zachary's first day of school, but he has a wonderful teacher and we have wonderful friends who have stepped in and helped him. His teacher tells me that he is doing awesome! Again Kirk and I thank you for all of the love and support! I'll ocassionally post about my healing journey. Tonight I'm thankful to be alive!
Love,
Heidi
every trial in my life has brought me to THIS place.....a place where nothing is perfect but everything is great. i wouldn't change a thing. OK MAYBE A FEW THINGS!!!!
