17 month process

Kirk's Garduation

Zach's baptism I was happy to be alive to see this!

The one year anniversary of the bleed.

recertified as a teacher

The book that really got me thinking about what happened to me.

The death of Kirk's mom and my first plane ride.

My Grandma and I at the graveside.

My Uncle Kevin and I

Isabella and resting four weeks after the bleed.

Our first family photo since the bleed in our Bishop's back yard.

This is the very first photo of me seven days out of ICU.  I'm holding my cousin's brand new baby .  I remember sitting a lot because my head was still hurting really bad and my legs were in horrible pain.  I was so thankful to be able to hold a new life!

This would be our final time we saw Grandpa Walker

My aunt Cherie and Cousin Sadie this was our first reunion since the bleed.

Kirk and I one week to the day of the bleed.

My Grandpa who I lost on Valentine's Day!  My heart broke that day because I could not attend his funeral since my doctors would not permit me to travel.  I was very close to him so by far this was one of my most challenging days.

The day I was able to drive!

All of our great friends and we celebrated Kirk's MBA

Holding my cousin's baby.  She was bigger then the first time I held her.

My first party that I attended with headaches

The first time I saw my Grandma since the bleed.

The first time I saw my Grandpa's grave.  It was that day that the reality hit me that he truly was gone.

Some of those fun deductive reasoning excercises

Mother's Day after the bleed.

Isabella enjoying candy that people would give her when they came to care for us.

My Brain.  The first CT after the bleed.

Tender Moment

This precious little girl of mine has taught me so many valuable lessons.  It is amazing the perspective children can give you.

The day of those terrible shootings Isabella came to me this was our conversation.

Isabella:  Mom those children went to live with Heavenly Father right?
Heidi:      Yes they did.
Isabella:   Mom I know those children are ok because they are now living with Heavenly Father and my Grandma Walker lives there too and she was a teacher, and I know she is helping Heavenly Father teach those kids.

After she spoke those words I sat back and reflected for the next hour.  I also e-mailed Kirk at work to inform him of what Isabella just shared with me. It was so amazing how she put all of this together. Her words and thoughts comforted many that day.

Icky Sickies

I have not had any time to post photos on the blog because the kiddos have been sick with influenza type a. Yes they each had a flu shot back in October and yet we are dealing with it.  Zachary was also diagnosed with Asthma and has to do breathing treatments which he dislikes.  This stuff has been nasty.  We are now at the stage where the kiddos are still not ready to go back to school, but are now fighting with one another and I think they miss school. 

I have been very fortunate and have not got it at least not yet.  Typically viruses like this miss me and instead I get rare things like brain bleeds.  Speaking of the bleed my recovery is coming along.  I'm doing several exercises.  They have increased one of my medication's to not only help with my depression but to also help with my attention.  My attention is improving but this medication is causing some more headaches.  Plus I also think it is stress.

Kirk has been doing ok.  He made it through the holidays since his mom's death.  Even though his mom had been struggling for the past few years it is still a difficult loss.  This Saturday would have been his mom's 59th Birthday. 

"The Piano Guys"

Recently I was given a CD called the "The Piano Guys" and I love it.  I have always enjoyed listening to different musical instruments. Here is the link.  My favorite is "Beethoven's 5 secrets"  The kiddos and I listen to this CD over and over again in the car.  They mix beethoven into modern music such as "One Republic" and "Adele" for example. What I like is it is clean and relaxing.    www.thepianoguys.cohttp://thepianoguys.com/portfolio/beethovens-5-scerets/m 

New Beginnings

Tonight we sat as a family discussing everything that happened this year.  We lost a total of four people in our families, continued the recovery of the brain bleed, I was able to drive again, Kirk earned his Master's degree and graduated with high honors, Zachary got Baptized, Zachary learned how to swim, Isabella started preschool and ballet, Kirk got a promotion at work, and I was able to fly in an airplane since the brain bleed! We will say that this has been one of our saddest years, and ironically one of our happiest!  This year we truly have had a piece of Heaven in our home.

Isabella's First Ballet Recital




Isabella and her friend Zoey.  They shared flowers with one another after their ballet recital.

 

In ballet it is tradition to give the ballerina red roses

Dancing away while trying to watch their teacher Miss. Mary

Salt Lake City

On our way back to Seattle we spent a night in Salt Lake City and went to Temple Square to see the Christmas lights.  The photos do not give them justice but it was very pretty.  We also had the opportunity to go into The North Vistor's Center and watch a video about family.  Since the loss of Kirk's mom, this was a very spiritual experience for our family and we all walked away from Temple Square with tears streamming down our cheeks. It was the perfect ending.  Enjoy our photos!

Temple Square Salt Lake CIty

We Wish

You

A

Merry

Christmas

and

a

Happy

and

Healthy

New Year!!!!!!!

Wonderful Advice

"It will all be fine, I promise. Those labels give other people the power to reach out and help those two adorable boys. Those labels also make the school district more accountable for an educational program that will meet their needs. Someday they'll be finishing up post secondary education somewhere, just like John, and you'll look at your boys with incredible love, respect, and awe of how they've grown up WITH their issues, and made it through the maze."

LOVE IT!!!!  Tonight when I was checking out facebook one of my friend's wrote about her concern for her kiddos.  I read this comment that one of her friend's wrote and I thought I'm sharing this on the blog.  What a true and accurate way to define "lables" and their purpose.  So often in society, people get caught up into the harm that "lables" may cause instead of the help that they provide.  There you have it my special ed soapbox of the night!

The trip out to Idaho

The trip to Idaho and our visit was also very enetertaining.  The morning that we flew out of Seattle the plane started to take off and I felt very dizzy and held my head for the first 15 minutes of the journey, but once we were in the sky I was fine.  Then we landed and I was dizzy again and held my head for a while, but quickly my head felt normal again.  As we were exiting the plane I looked back and discovered that we had a crimminal who was sitting behind me and the kiddos. (Kirk was in the next row over)  There was also a US Marshall next to the crimminal, who was cuffed and all.  Needless to say, we did not share that with Zach right away.  Once we arrived in Idaho, the night of the viewing Kirk lost his wallet.  We had to cancel our bank cards; however, to our relief three hours later Kirk found his wallet.  The day of the funeral, Kirk and Zach drove our rental car over to Kohls to pick up a couple of items, when they were driving back they had a tire blow out.  Thankfully we arrived on time for the funeral.  For sure a trip to remember!

"I Stand all Amazed at the Love Jesus Offers Me"

Words to a hymn that I find comforting in times of suffering and loss.  As many of you know Kirk lost his mother November 28, 2012, from complications of surgery. This is a photo of the funeral program and her wedding ring that my father-in-law gave to me to give to Isabella on her 16th Birthday.  The service was truly remarkable.  Kirk spoke and did a wonderful job.  My father-in-law asked Zachary to be a pall bearer and Kirk and I talked to Zachary about it and told him that it was his choice and at the young age of 8 decided that he wanted too and he did great!  I was so touched watching Kirk and Zachary carry the casket.  I observed tears streamming down Zachary's face and he shared with me, "Even though he did not see his Grandmother that often he felt her love."  I feel so blessed to be the mother to a remarkable son.  On the behalf of our family, we would like to thank everyone for their love, support, cards, and flowers.  We truly have felt loved and comforted during this time.

In Memory of our Mother and Grandmother

This says it all for this year and is hanging on our tree